Monday, July 11, 2011

Letters to my kids...

I have always in the past written a letter to my kids the night before we welcome a new family member.  You can read the ones I wrote to Ella and Eliza in 2009 here.

Dear Eli Matthew,
       Tonight is the last night I will ever go to sleep with you tucked sweetly inside of me.   I can't imagine coming back to this room tomorrow with you not inside of me anymore.   I remember looking at my calendar the day I was admitted and thinking there was no way I could mentally make it until July 12th.  Thankfully, the Lord has sustained us each day and provided friends, encouragement and just what we needed to get through. I cannot believe that tomorrow is your birthday!

      If you are anything like your pregnancy has been, I imagine you will be a little boy who teaches us a lot and keeps us on our toes.   I will never forget the day I found out that I was expecting you.  I was so surprised.  I had no idea what the next few months of growing and nurturing you would require of me physically, mentally and spiritually.  It has been the hardest journey of my life so far.  I will never forget March 8th, because that is the day we learned that you were a little boy and a few minutes later that you had spina bifida.  I will never forget the feelings I had on April 19th, when we were both facing a risky and scary surgery to repair your back in utero.  I have never been more scared in my entire life.  I will never forget each move of your legs that we anxiously looked for each week on the ultrasound or the day we watched you put your toes in your mouth.  These past few months have required more of me than I ever knew I handle.  It has required more faith in Christ, more dependence on those we love, and more praying on my part. 

Eli, I don't know what tomorrow and the weeks to follow will be like for you, but I promise that God has a great plan for you.   I promise that you have a mommy and a daddy that will move heaven and earth to provide all that you need.  I promise we will love you no matter what you are capable of and no matter what the doctors may tell us about you.  We believe with all our hearts that you are fearfully and wonderfully made by a loving and kind heavenly father and we are trusting him with your care and your future.  We promise that you will not be the little boy with spina bifida, but you will be our son, Eli.

There are so many people praying for you tomorrow and who already love you so much!  Your daddy and I cannot wait to see you, and I promise to get to the NICU the minute they will let me up!
Love,
Your Mommy


Dear Ella Kate,
      Tomorrow is Eli's birthday.  When I reminded you of this on the phone tonight you asked me if he was having a spiderman birthday!  I sure wish that was all we were doing tomorrow.  You are such a funny girl and such a great big sister.  I love to watch how much Eliza loves you and how she wants to do exactly what you are doing.  You have a very big job as the oldest child.  I can see that God is making you into a great leader with a strong personality.  I pray you will continue to grow to be a good helper to both Eliza and Eli.  I have no doubt that Eli will love you.  I can't wait to take you to the NICU for a visit in a few days.  You are lucky because you are old enough to get to visit him there.  Get a good rest and be a good girl tomorrow.  I can't wait to see you!
Love,
Mommy

Dear Eliza Anne,
     I think Mommy is having the hardest time writing to you tonight.  I think it is always hardest on the youngest when a new baby arrives or maybe it is just hardest for mommy.   It seems like just yesterday I was shedding tears writing to to Ella the night before we had you.  I couldn't imagine how much I would love you!  I felt so sad that she would no longer be the baby and I was scared.  Mommy is feeling the same things again tonight.  You are such a sweet little girl and I cannot believe that you are almost two.  You are so different than your sister and I think you will make a great middle child.  I know you will make a great big sister and I look forward to watching you grow into your new role.  I hope you and Eli will be good friends and that you can teach him your mad climbing skills (that might even be okay by mommy and daddy)!  I love you!
Love,
Mommy

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

thank you for sharing these - made me cry. Will be praying for you tonight & tomorrow - praying for God to show up in a BIGGER THAN LIFE way!!!!!!! Praying for Eli to have impact from the moment he arrives! Praying for your girls - may God hold them close as they welcome their new brother. Praying for Kevin - for continue strength and courage as he holds you and holds you up. Praying for you - sweet girl - as you live the life God called you too - no matter what.

Anonymous said...

How remarkable! Eli, Ella, nor Eliza could ever ask for better parents. I know you feel as if you're going to break, but God picks you up and carries you through. I know God has you and Eli on this journey for His purpose so that those around you can witness His power, miracles, and blessings. There are so many praying for you and Eli who know EXACTLY what prayer can and will do...work miracles. Let's get ready to sit back and watch God do His work! Take a deep breath and know He is with you. That is my prayer for you at 11AM tomorrow..."So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." (Isaiah 41:10). We excitedly wait to hear "Happy Birthday, Eli!"

Colleen said...

So sweet! What an exciting time.

katherinebee said...

Praying for you and your sweet family!

Unknown said...

I love the idea of writing to your children on the eve of a new family member. I too teared up reading your sweet words. I will continue to pray for your family as today is the BIG day! May God bless you with a healthy baby Eli and continue to grow your sweet girls. May God continue to bless you and Kevin in ways you never saw possible. Celebrate today, July 12th, 2011!