Thursday

One thing I continue to be amazed at as we venture through these difficult days is how the Lord provides just what we need.  Today was a pretty long day.  The nurse didn't get me on the monitor until after ten and then she left me on for an hour and a half.  I was only supposed to be on for 20-40 min.  I think she got busy and forgot.  Kev brought the girls after VBS and they were both very tired and fussy.  Lunch was a bit disastrous as there aren't many good eating spots for little kiddies in a hospital room.  We opted to not attempt the food court area again around lunch time.  We finally got both girls to sleep. 

Eliza has turned into a major Daddy's girl over the past few days.  She will not let him put her down at all.  She is a little scared in my room, and I can't say I blame her!  She is really scared when anyone enters the room and she is even a little scared of her mommy.  It breaks my heart!  She has always been a mommy's girl....but I think she knows they are coming to check me and it makes her scared to get too close.  I try to steal kisses and hugs whenever I can get them.  Usually after a while she warms up some. I cannot wait to be at home normally with her again.

Ella and I snuggled in the hospital chair and she snuggled so close and kissed my face over and over.  It was such a sweet and special moment and was just what this mommy's heart needed.  She has always been my snuggle buddy!  She was also so sweet when she left today.  She said, "Mommy you sit right there and I will miss you." 

After naps we had some sweet friends bring us dinner...a yummy BBQ dinner.  Then another sweet friend popped in and then more friends.  I cannot tell you how much this means to us.  It helps time to pass and also helps us still feel connected to the world outside.  It encourages us and helps us to continue. 

I have to admit that there are moments when I want to act like a crazy, dramatic, patient having a mental breakdown and insisting that I cannot do this one more day.  Every morning at 5:30 when the doctor does her rounds and asks if I have any questions, I want to beg and plead for an earlier delivery date, letting her know just how hard this is on me and my family.  Then I take a breath and bite my tongue and remember that God has already ordained each day of Eli's life.  He has the master plan even though the doctors may write the date on a calendar.  So, I hold back and continue to wait on His timing.

Tomorrow we will have our next ultrasound.  You can join us in praying that his left ventricle will remain stable or will have decreased, fluid will still be okay and that we might see some good leg movement.  I am anxious about it since we are getting so close to seeing him and beginning this journey with him. 

The best news is...tom. is Friday and we are almost through another work week!  Have a good night.