Getting out of the boat...

Kev and I are in the midst of trying to discern God's plan for our family.  As most of you know we found out a few months ago that his job of 10 years was ending due to the company closing the local office.  Let me back up a bit.  My husband Kevin has worked in small business sales for almost ten years now. He is really good at it.  Sales comes very naturally to him since he loves talking to people and is a hard worker.  He has been successful and has moved up in his company as much as he wanted too. 

A few years ago after we lost Samuel, the Lord placed a very clear call in Kevin's heart for full-time ministry.  It is so funny to me because I always for some strange reason thought I would grow up and marry a preacher...maybe because my dad has been a pastor all my life..maybe it was the Lord.  Anyways, when I met Kevin and knew he was God's plan for my life he had no plans of being a preacher.  I was actually really good with that plan.  I had complete peace about marrying him and just figured I'd misheard God's voice, and once again, I was really good with that.

Being in the ministry is very different from having a normal job.  I know this well from growing up my entire life in a pastor's family.  You don't choose a church or ministry job based on which one pays the most.  You don't choose to move your family to a new city because you "like" the area.  You choose to make those decisions based on the Lord's leading.  As a child I saw my parents do this many times.  I also experienced many, many blessings based on their faithfulness and obedience to the Lord.

Okay, back to my title.  So, Kev has been working full-time, going to seminary, teaching Sunday School. helping with our youth group, and most recently hired on part-time at our church to work to get small groups organized for families.  He has a lot of irons in the fire so to speak.  He is constantly busy trying to serve.  His full-time sales job was really just our income and insurance.  It was not his passion or his calling.  Yet, income and insurance are really important when you have a soon to be family of five.

I am getting somewhere....I think!  We have been really praying and trying to discern what God's plan is for Him as far as a job.  A door has opened and some have closed.  This weekend we spent a lot of time talking and praying over this.  All weekend my mind kept going back to the story when Peter got out of the boat and walked on water to Jesus (Matt. 14:22-33).  It is a story I have heard over and over throughout my life, but this weekend the Lord kept bringing it to my mind.

Kev is so much more like Peter than I am.  He would totally be the disciple to get out of the boat.  Me on the other hand....I really like the security and comfort of the boat. I really don't like the water and I would be one of the terrified ones sobbing in the boat.  Our personalities are very different, which usually is a very good thing. 

As the Lord brought this story to my mind over and over this weekend I kept thinking...."Lord, getting out of the boat is hard enough  for me when the water is smooth and clear.  It is quite a different thing to get out of the boat in the midst of a terrible storm."  To be honest, getting out of the boat seems quite contrary to what I want to do.  It also seems a little reckless and like those huge waves might be more than I can handle. 

I had to go back and re-read Matthew 14 to remember that it was the wind that also caused Peter to be afraid and lose his footing too.

When I got home this evening and opened our mail from yesterday there was a card inside.  It was sent to us from a lady who I have never met but who has been praying for us. This is what the card said, "I BELIEVE if Jesus calls me to get out of the boat, He is going to be there to help me walk on the water.  If I start to sink, which I sometimes do, He'll reach His hand down and He'll lift me up.   God will give you everything you need to do everything He has called you to do.  You are in His hands and in His will, and there is no better place to be."