The odds

Kev forgot to change his alarm or I guess he really didn't forget...he just assumed his cell phone would automatically update the new time.  We don't normally have to worry because our girls are generally pretty good alarm clocks for us.  We woke up a little late but still made it in time for most of the service.  Eliza has had a tiny little cold and started running a little fever.  Normally, I would have stayed at home from church with her in this case, but today we just felt like we really needed to be there.  We just kept her with us and to be honest I don't either one of us minded having a little extra snuggle time with her. 

A lot of times when we are hurting we want to retreat from life and those around us.  I do this. I know we learned from last time how much we need to be around those who love us and those who are praying for us.  It was good to be in the house of the Lord today. 

The odds....
I have been thinking a lot about the odds that we have been given this past week and also given in the past.  In one sense it blows my mind that our odds are so....terrible.  In the other sense it makes me realize that God is really at work in our lives (for the lack of a better word) in an odd way. 

Samuel died of bilateral mutlicystic dysplastic kidneys.  The odds of this happening in a pregnancy is 1 per 10,000!  It is not genetic and happens sporadically.  It is more common in caucasions and a little more common in boys than girls.   It is lethal if it is bilateral.  It does often occur to just one kidney and the occurance of that is 1 in 4,300.  In that case the child generally is healthy due to one healthy functioning kidney.  The reoccurance rate in future pregnancies is about 1%.

Research shows that birth defects like Spina Bifida occur in 7 out of every 10,000 live births in the United States.  We were told that 95% of neural tube defects occur in families where there is no family history of such problems.  It is most common among hispanic and white women.  Shockingly, we were told that our state has the highest incidence of Spina Bifida cases in the entire U.S., with our portion of the state containing the most.  This blew my mind.  The CDC has been investigating this for years and has found no reasoning...although I am convinced there must be one!

Trisomy 18 is caused by a chromosomal defect.  It occurs in 1 out of 6000 births.  50-60%of babies who are carried to term are born stillborn and less than 10% survive to their first birthday. There is no way to prevent it and the reoccurance rate in future pregnancies is about 1%. 

So what is the odds of having a child with both Spina Bifida and Trisomy 18.  Apparently about 6% of babies with Trisomy 18 also have Spina Bifida as well as many other health problems. 

I just wonder what the odds would be of having a child with Bilateral Multi-cystic Dysplastic Kidneys and then a child with Trisomy 18 and Spina Bifida. I am sure we will find out soon but, I am guessing the odds are pretty rare.  Kev said that IF we were gambling folks now would be the time to buy a lottery ticket! 

I can't for the life of me just conceive that this is all a terrible cosmic accident or some cruel sentence brought on by an unloving God or even the case that Kevin and I just have some really crummy genes (although that one might be easier to swallow).  I know and believe enough to know that God doesn't just mess up and that he doesn't send calamaity into our lives for fun.  I can hold to the fact that I have seen God bring great joy and direction into our lives from the loss of our son Samuel.  In many ways his death has shaped our path these last few years. 

Never in my wildest dreams would I have believed that we might walk back through such a difficult pregncncy. I don't know what God has planned for little Eli, but I guarentee there is a purpose and a plan for him...either on earth or in heaven.  I once again say with Mary, when the angel brought her the news of the coming Savior, "I am the Lord's servant and I am willing to accept whatever he wants." Luke 1:38