Meet Eli!

Thank you all so much for your prayers for our family.  The past two days have been a whirlwind nightmare.  This morning we had an early appointment downtown at the "big" hospital.  Really it isn't at a hospital, but rather a clinic nearby.  It is a clinic that I have visited before and hoped to never need to return.  The whole time I sat there I kept thinking that I could not believe that we are back.

It took forever to get the paperwork filled out and then to get insurance stuff approved prior to being seen.  We had a long ultrasound where we got to see little Eli moving all around.  I found myself loving him more and more as I watched him.  Feelings of fear and anger seemed to fall away as I saw him.  The findings were the same as yesterday.  He does indeed have Spina Bifidia.  The doctor that we saw was informative and direct.  She said that having these two major incidents of birth defects, which are totally unrealated, is like getting struck by lightening twice in the same lifetime.  She told us we'd been struck and she was so sorry.  We prayed before we went in as we always do that God would give us opportunities today to proclaim His name.  I once again have found my boldness.  People listen when life comes crashing.  I told her, "Why not us!"  God has blessed us so much with family, a wonderful church and a strong faith in Him.  As much as I wish it wasn't us....I know that God has a plan for us. 

Then we met with the genetic counselor who was our genetic counselor last time.  She said that when she got the call yesterday about our appt. today she knew our names immediately.  She was as kind and informative as last time.  We shared with her how God had blessed our family in the five years since we'd last met and how God had used it in our lives in a big way.  Kevin told her that he was now in seminary and that our loss had given us new direciton in life.  I sinced that she too was a believer.

We learned so much that my head is swimming.  I admit that I knew very little about Spina Bifidia before yesterday.  Eli's spinal problem is at the lower part of his spine. It will most likely affect his bladder, bowels, legs, feet and walking.  He will have daily issues that we will have to learn to manage.  Of course, the extent of this will be determined after birth as he grows.  Our lives have changed forever.

He will have to have surgery.  We would appreciate your prayers concerning this.  There is a possibility of him having an interuterine surgery prior to birth.  It would be risky and would be major surgery for me as well.  It is pricey and in another state.  We have a lot of options to weigh and a lot more information to aquire in the next ten weeks...(which is the time frame in which it would have to be done.) 

If not, he will have surgery or surgeries following his birth and will have a NICU stay as he heals.  We were told that we would leave the hospital with lots of appointments.  Thankfully, there is a spinia bifidia clinic right in our very town where many of the services are provided.  Our daily life has changed forever.

My heart is scared.  I miss my girls already and the normalcy that our lives had just two days ago.  I know that in a few short months their little lives will be forever changed as well.  I know they will both be great big sissy's.  But,....their little lives are changed forever.

Once again, we thank you all for your prayers and kind words.  Last night I couldn't sleep and I went back to the book of Job.  If you feel like having a pity party for yourself, Job is a good place to start.  He lost it all and really just wanted God to kill him.  Chapter after Chapter and God is silent...and finally in Chapter 38 God speaks.  Pretty much he says to brace yourself and for the next 3 chapters God displays both his authority and his power.  It left me as it left Job feeling both humbled and repentant.  Surely even though our lives might be changed forever, He remains unchanged.