This is my third attempt to write a new post tonight. The first one was completely random and perhaps a tiny bit funny (probably only to me) and had nothing to do with how I am feeling today. The second was sad and overwhelming and perhaps on the verge of despair. So in an attempt to be true to this journey yet, not get lost in my own fears and doubts...I will try again.
I know questions and doubts are part of the journey. Today I am just feeling sad for being on this journey. I so wish Eli was "healthy." Isn't that all that any pregnant person wishes for? I wish I was enjoying a normal pregnancy with my normal doctor. I wish I wasn't relying so heavily on my friends and family. I wish I could get in the car and load my girls up and go to Target. I wish I felt prepared to have Eli. After all this won't be my first time to do this...yet there seems to be so many new and unknown things surrounding his birth that I don't know what to expect. It is what it is...but I so wish I could change it.
3 comments:
i'm so sorry today was hard and that you are having to walk down this. I know everyone is happy to help you, yet I can't imagine how challenging it must be for you to not be independent. I wish it could be different too.
oh julie, my heart breaks for you. i wish all the same for you. thank you for being transparent. the Lord is using you to encourage me. you and eli are amazing!
lauren fortney
Oh Julie - cry out to Abba Father - who totally gets where you are at and stands at the ready to be there for you. It has to be so hard for you - all of it, yet you are rising up to be the woman - the momma - God is calling you to be. Praying that your mother's heart will be healed through the breaking that it is going through right now -
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