Friday's Appointment

Yesterday I had my second appointment with our local MFM doctors.  We had an hour and 20 min wait in the waiting room, ultrasound and then a check-up!  I am thinking that Friday afternoon is probably the worst time to have an appointment. 

We got to see Eli's little face in 3D again and it looked so sweet.  It always blows my mind when I see it!  He is weighing in at 1lb. 8oz. or there about which is right on track for where I am.  My amniotic fluid was great and the back of the brain/chiari malformation looked good...or better.  I almost think the doctor called it normal which means that instead of the cerebellum looking like a banana it looks more like a figure 8 now.  That is great news!

I asked the ultrasound lady if we could watch his legs for a bit.  He keeps them piked up by his face and crossed at the ankles.  He has stayed in that position for weeks although he has been in a different position at almost each ultrasound.  We haven't really been able to see any leg or feet movement.  I asked....hoping we might.  She tried and tried to get those little legs to do something, but they didn't!  It was disappointing.  We also learned that his right foot appears to be clubbed now.  This would be a sign of nerve damage in that leg.   Although you just can't really tell for sure from an ultrasound about future leg function....our hearts were sad.  We love him no matter what.  We will do anything we can to give him the best life possible...but it doesn't make the hurt any less.  We also learned that one of his ventricles had increased a bit from last week.  It is right at the point where it is no longer considered normal.  The other side is still okay.  We knew this was all very possible...but you never ever what to hear bad news about your child!

On the way home from the doctor, Kevin played a new song for me that he found on a CD.  One of the lyrics stood out to me.  It said something to the affect that...."our reward is your faithfulness."  Sometimes I feel like I deserve some big reward.  Like I have been given the short side of the stick on more than one occasion as far as pregnancy goes. It is easy to feel frustrated with others who haven't experienced a hard pregnancy and take it all forgranted.  Or maybe they don't take it forgranted but just don't realize how much worse it could really be.  It is easy to feel that way in the midst of hardtimes.   I am going to try to remember that God's faithfulness to us is our reward.  We don't deserve it and have done nothing to earn it.  We are loved and forgiven and that is reason enough to be thankful even when my heart feels really sad. 

We have also been so blessed by our church family and friends:  meals, people cutting our grass, giving of their time, giving of their money and holding us up with prayers, cards, etc.  Apparently, about 50 people have gone in and paid for our house to get cleaned once a week.  I hate even writing that because I don't want to cause anyone to be jealous! :)  Those that know me know that I like to have a clean house.  It was such a blessing to come home from our doctor's appointment to a clean home.  It is also a blessing that today Kev is able to run our errands and entertain the girls without having to cut the grass and spend the day trying to clean.  We are so thankful to each of you who have ministered to our family during these weeks.  We would so much rather be on the giving end and it is hard for us to accept all the kindness given to us, but we sincerely thank you.

I am continuing to pray that we will be surprised by how well Eli does despite this disability....continuing to pray for God's healing to his little body.