When Life Gives You Blueberries....

go make some muffins or just sit and have a cry! This will make more sense in a minute. It's been a challenging day today. I sit here trying to process, get my thoughts together... while listening to ella have a full-on conversation by herself. I think she just said...mommy, happy! I guess from my sour expression I am not looking so happy!

We headed out for lunch when I knew we should just eat at home...but I was craving a yummy cinnamon bagel and hazelnut cream cheese from panerea bread. Ella thought she was in charge and refused to get in her stroller. She screamed, "Mommy, I hold you!" as we had a battle of the wills in the parking lot! As much as I would like to just hold her it is getting more and more physically challenging..esp while ordering, paying and carrying our food! I won but not without a physical struggle! We should have just headed home then! So we made it through lunch or me eating my lunch with ella playing with the buckles of her stroller...and pushing it into one not so friendly lady who evidently wanted a nice, peaceful and quiet lunch! I should have warned her when she sat done close to us!

We decided to make a quick run into Costco for some cherries and blueberries! This went well until the whole entire Costco sized container of blueberries dumped out in the bottom of the stroller as I was getting it out to pay! Evidently the tape that was supposed to hold it together was broken! So here is the big pregnant girl squatting down picking up hundreds of little sand and fuzz covered blueberries while holding up the entire line. While all this is going on ella begins to scream for me because she can no longer see me. Whew! I think my patience was gone but I tried to hold it together for the sake of the public!

We rode quietly home thinking the worst was over! When I got home I went to open ella's car door to get her out and what do you know those stupid blueberries fell out of the car and hit the driveway! All 500 of them began to roll down the driveway! I couldn't believe it! Do I leave them for the wild animals! Do I waste the $5.00 I just spent on them. I knew my husband wouldn't like that! So I did what most would do...big pregnant girl bent down in the 100 degree heat and began picking up blueberries. Ella was still in her seat and was ready to get out! She began screaming to get out! It was hot...and it seemed like the job was never ending. I finally couldn't take the screaming any longer, decided to leave the rest and unbuckled her! I guess she couldn't tell that mommy was on her last thread because she thought it would be a fun time to play chase! I was hot, tired and frustrated. I got her inside as fast as I could and put her in time-out! It was not a pretty scene. In fact I prayed that none of my neighbors were watching as I carried her inside kicking and crying...along with the blueberries I prayed wouldn't open again!

This is life! Normal annoyances like flat tires when your running late for work (that was kev's morning)...dropping an egg on your freshly mopped floor, and children who want their own way! After ella was in time-out I sat down for a few minutes and had a good cry! I felt like such a terrible mommy! I know my tone was anything but loving and I was frustrated and lost my patience with her! Oh how I need the Lord's help today! I need His help to soften my harshness when I am frustrated. I need his help to see the big picture of life when normal life annoyances seem to be overwhelming. I need His help to love and nurture my precious bundle of energy on days when I have none.

So today life gave me some blueberries, I've had my cry and later I will make some muffins!