Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Parenting at 18 months!


I have found that at each stage of growth and development brings its own unique challenges with parenting. I am sure all you moms agree and if you have teenagers you are saying...just wait! I remember the initial challenges in those early months with breastfeeding, living on little sleep, always worrying about ella catching germs, acid reflux, and my fears of SIDS. But as she grew those challenges faded and then came new ones. Around six months I remember facing trying to get her to nap in her crib in her room. I had become accustomed to letting her nap in her swing, car seat, and on the go and this had worked great...but about this time she was too interested in her surroundings to nap on the go and trying to get her to nap in her crib was a big struggle for a few weeks. But finally she figured out that mommy wasn't going to rescue her and I am so glad that I stuck it out even though it about killed me. I knew in the long run we had to cross this hurdle. As she grew there was her bout with pneumonia which about scared this mommy to death and dealing with a picky little eater. There was weaning and learning to use a cup. There was walking and major baby proofing. There was teaching her to pray before meals and not to throw her food. Around 15 months I saw that we were headed for some new challenges. Lately we have been dealing with lots of disciplining. Don't you wish that parenting didn't involve this! I know I do...but it is so important. About 2 weeks ago I was at my wist end...just feeling like I was surely doing something wrong. I picked up the book Toddlerwise from Barnes and Noble and read it in one afternoon. (Disclaimer: I read the Babywise books before having ella and I really liked them. I am a structured person naturally and I needed a guide as for dealing with a newborn. I know that most people either love these books or loathe them. I used them as a guide and feel like the ideas were beneficial to me as a new mom (esp. getting ella on a eating and sleeping schedule-although I of course didn't follow as strictly as the books suggested!) The next evening I was talking to my neighbor who has used these books in raising her children and she gave me some new ideas to try with ella. I left our conversation feeling encouraged and ready to try some new things. I think most these ideas are found in the Toddlerwise book.


These are some of the ideas:

1. We have started blanket time. I wish I'd have started this when ella was about 14 months, but we are a little late. I put a blanket on the floor with a few of her favorite toys saved just for this time. The first time I set the timer for just 3 min. I also sat off the blanket close by and praised her the entire time. I also kept telling her that this is blanket time and she has to stay on her blanket and what a good job she was doing staying on her blanket. This has been really good for her because she has been having some boundary issues. (Example- at our Sunday school picnic she was all over. I mean she would not stay in one area and play...she wanted to run the park the entire time. For the first week I sat beside her each day and increased the time by a minute or two. We are now working on ten minutes. I am in the room watching her but she is staying on her blanket looking at her books and playing. I do think I still need to be close by at this point to remind her to stay on the blanket and to praise. The goal is that in the future I can trust her to stay on the blanket while mommy gets ready, cleans or etc. I am pleased with this progress and I know that if I have this in place before the new baby arrives it will help!


2. Ella has been wanting to run off in the yard...mostly to see the trash can (have I mentioned her love for trash :)! While I like that she is curious and wants to explore...the front yard is not the spot. We deliver food to a my neighbor several times a week who has a child battling a brain tumor. Just getting the food next door can be a struggle when mommy has no hands and needs ella walk with me. I know this will be more important this summer as my tummy grows bigger and it gets harder to carry her. We have started doing a time-out the first time she deviates from mommy and daddy. We go into the house immediately and go straight to time-out. I have seen some major progress in this area in a few days of doing this. Ella knows she must stay in her spot in time-out until mommy comes to get her(this is usually only about 2 minutes or until she calms down.) I ask her if she is ready to be happy. I tell her what she did wrong and what I need her to do. I then give her a kiss and a hug each time and tell her I love her and want her to make a better choice next time. I actually planted flowers outside on the porch and she stayed with me and we have watered plants in the front yard two days in a row and she has followed without running off. Praise Jesus!


3. Ella's favorite word is no. Even if you ask her if she wants her juice...she will tell you NO (in a gruffy voice...I mean seriously where does she get this....probably me)! We have been working on giving her direct commands and requiring her to say yes to us. For example instead of saying, "Ella are you ready to eat dinner?" We are trying to remember to say, "Ella it is time to eat dinner." Then we say, "Do you understand?" To which the correct response would be Yes or eventually Yes mommy! After getting lots of noooooooooos! I am now hearing a sweet little yes! Music to my ears. I still get several No's and then I say don't you mean yes and she'll then say yes. Progress!


These are just a few of the parenting issues we have been dealing with. I realize everyone has different parenting views but these ideas have been working so I am going with it while praying for wisdom and help! We still have lots of progress to make...you'll know what I mean if you run into us at Target or Wal-mart! My little shopper can be quite a handful. I think this may be our next issue to work on. Oh the joys of being a parent. Toddler boot camp...hut, two, hut, three!

4 comments:

The Q family said...

The way you describe Ella reminds me of Sarah. We are on to full time discipline at our house as well. I am beginning to see some progress, but I can now see where the term that used to bug me to no end comes from, for my girls truly are double trouble these days! It is challenging, but so fun.

The Tylers said...
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The Tylers said...
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The Tylers said...

Sorry about all the removed posts. I realized after I wrote somethings that I sounded like a rambling crazy stay at home mom! I am so happy to hear your good news...Ella is beautiful & I am sure you know that all of these 'toddler' behaviors are normal...okay, maybe they are just normal to me because Thomas is just like her :) Looking forward to keeping up with your blog. I love little girls :)