Thursday

One thing I continue to be amazed at as we venture through these difficult days is how the Lord provides just what we need.  Today was a pretty long day.  The nurse didn't get me on the monitor until after ten and then she left me on for an hour and a half.  I was only supposed to be on for 20-40 min.  I think she got busy and forgot.  Kev brought the girls after VBS and they were both very tired and fussy.  Lunch was a bit disastrous as there aren't many good eating spots for little kiddies in a hospital room.  We opted to not attempt the food court area again around lunch time.  We finally got both girls to sleep. 

Eliza has turned into a major Daddy's girl over the past few days.  She will not let him put her down at all.  She is a little scared in my room, and I can't say I blame her!  She is really scared when anyone enters the room and she is even a little scared of her mommy.  It breaks my heart!  She has always been a mommy's girl....but I think she knows they are coming to check me and it makes her scared to get too close.  I try to steal kisses and hugs whenever I can get them.  Usually after a while she warms up some. I cannot wait to be at home normally with her again.

Ella and I snuggled in the hospital chair and she snuggled so close and kissed my face over and over.  It was such a sweet and special moment and was just what this mommy's heart needed.  She has always been my snuggle buddy!  She was also so sweet when she left today.  She said, "Mommy you sit right there and I will miss you." 

After naps we had some sweet friends bring us dinner...a yummy BBQ dinner.  Then another sweet friend popped in and then more friends.  I cannot tell you how much this means to us.  It helps time to pass and also helps us still feel connected to the world outside.  It encourages us and helps us to continue. 

I have to admit that there are moments when I want to act like a crazy, dramatic, patient having a mental breakdown and insisting that I cannot do this one more day.  Every morning at 5:30 when the doctor does her rounds and asks if I have any questions, I want to beg and plead for an earlier delivery date, letting her know just how hard this is on me and my family.  Then I take a breath and bite my tongue and remember that God has already ordained each day of Eli's life.  He has the master plan even though the doctors may write the date on a calendar.  So, I hold back and continue to wait on His timing.

Tomorrow we will have our next ultrasound.  You can join us in praying that his left ventricle will remain stable or will have decreased, fluid will still be okay and that we might see some good leg movement.  I am anxious about it since we are getting so close to seeing him and beginning this journey with him. 

The best news is...tom. is Friday and we are almost through another work week!  Have a good night.

Today's Random Thoughts

Today is coming to an end.  I am thankful that tom. is Thursday and that means that we are closing out another week...well kind of.  Kev brought the girls to the hospital again today and we had a family date to the cafeteria.  It was packed and was a bit stressful since all I can do is...sit.  Our girls generally don't eat very well in chaotic situations and so we left pretty quickly.  We came back to my room to attempt nap time at the hospital again.  Amazingly they both napped really well! 

I am having IV issues again.  IV #4 is now swollen, red and sore in and around the IV site.  The nurse said it probably will need to come out and another placed.  I probably will have one in my foot before this is over. 

I will have another ultrasound either tomorrow or Friday.  I am anxious to see what is going on with our little guy.  To be honest, I cannot believe I am about to have another baby!  I don't feel prepared at all for the newborn stage...especially since I feel so out of practice as a mother.   I guess we should soon buy a pack of diapers!!  (Just for the record we are normally overly prepared and I have only been to a retail store 2 times in the past ten weeks!)  I am sure Target must think I have died!

I think I will snuggle into my crisp hospital sheets...I am really not a fan, and try to go to sleep!  13 more days...not that I am counting!

2 more Weeks

Until this family of four becomes a family of five!

Daddy was being silly!

2 more weeks plus a few recovery days until mommy is back!

This mommy is READY to resume my mommy job!

32 Weeks and hoping Eli is growing!


So my attempt at talking my doctor out of a full-time Iv didn't go over so well!  The day nurse tried and the vein blew so I am waiting for the night nurse to try.  I hope I have some veins left by the time I have Eli. 

I feel like we are trying our best to make the most of this hospital stay.  I am beginning to know all my nurses and they are very sweet.  Even my cleaning lady has been stopping and watching a little TV with me.  We watched a lady do a water delivery the other day on TLC together!  Kev has been taking me for my wheelchair ride to the food court.  They have some pretty good options which are better than the same hospital food every day.  We are trying to consider it as a date. 

Speaking of TLC....the show Baby's First Days( I think that is the right name),  was taped at Vanderbilt.  A lot of the episodes were taped in the room I had before/after my fetal surgery.  It is neat to watch it on tv and know we were there 10 weeks ago today!

I really feel like if I can get through this week, next week I can really be counting down the days.  I think I am going to make a countdown chain for the girls so that whenever they come they can remove a link(s), so that they will have a better idea of when Eli will be here. 

There are many people who have made some huge sacrifices to help get us through this time.  You have sacrificed your time, energy, and your own plans to be there for us.  You have traveled to a yucky hospital to sit and chat, you have prepared meals, you have called and texted, you have sent cards and encouraged.   To all who have so unselfishly loved us....we thank you from the bottom of our hearts.  If the Lord is teaching us anything, it is to be more compassionate to those who are hurting and those who are in need.  We pray we will be as loving and giving as many of you! 

32 Weeks...HOORAY!

It is offically after midnight, so I have finally made it to the 32nd week in the hardest pregnancy ever!  Normally I don't think much about being 32 weeks except for the fact that it usually means I have about 6 weeks left.  This time it seems like such a milestone.  It also means that my c-section is offically 2 weeks away...or less!  (They are not letting me go past 34 due to the risk outweighing the benefits).

I was thinking that 7/11/11 would be a better birthdate than 7/12/11, but I am not sure what the docs would think of that.  All I know is one day earlier means one day earlier.  I have never been to prison and never plan to go...but I have to assume it might feel somewhat similar to this.  Being an adult it is a rare occurance that you are told you cannot do something.  I don't really like knowing that I cannot leave the hospital. 

I decided to get crafty and sent Kevin for my art supplies.  I painted a canvas for Eli's room today.  I worked on it most of the day and evening, which is why I am up so late.  It turned out pretty much like I wanted and occupied a lot of my day.  That is a good thing.

I am IV less for a few hours.  I accidently knocked it today and it started to swell and turn red under the site.  My nurse was sweet and took it out for a little while.  (I am not receiving anything in the IV anymore, but they are making me keep one in case of an emergency!)  I did ask about not having one, but the doctor quickly shot me down.  Oh well!  Did you know that IV's have to be changed every 4 days. I never realized this until this hospital stay because normally they haven't been this long.  I am now on my fourth IV and have about 4 more to get before I go home.  I am not really liking that!!

I better try to go to sleep!  Someone will be in before I know it to check Eli's heartbeat and my vitals!   Oh and the doctor will be in doing her rounds about 5:30am.  I am sure there is a perfectly good reason why they do it so early, but it is really terrible timing.  For one, I never have my contacts in and cannot see her to save my life. I have seen her everyday for two weeks and still have no clue what she looks like.  Maybe tomorrow I should try to find my glasses before she enters the room.   She always asks me if I have any questions and I am hardly awake enough to make a coherent sentence much less think of any questions worth asking at that time.   Oh well! 

Time to go to bed!

Sunday

This morning Kev headed to church.  I knew it would be good for him to get to go even though I couldn't.  After church he picked up some lunch and brought the girls to the hospital.  Normally on Sundays we eat as fast as we can and always put the girls down for a nap.  They are always soooo tired after church and we are usually on borrowed time.  We knew it was a risk to forgo nap time and attempt it at the hospital.  I was so thankful to see my girls.  We played a little, colored a little and then we all took a LONG Sunday afternoon nap...at the hospital.  That is a miracle!  Ella and I snuggled on the bed and Kev and Eliza slept on the couch.  They both slept for over two hours even with a cleaning lady coming in and a nurse.  Kev and I couldn't believe it!!  It was so nice to spend some time together as a family today and to get in some snuggle time with my girls.  Have I said how much I miss them?

After nap time we took advantage of my 30 minutes of freedom and went down to the food court area and fed them dinner.  Ella pushed my wheelchair the whole way and did a great job.  The food court is much better than the cafeteria food... I must admit!  So, all in all it was a good day and another day down. 

Things with Eli seem to be really stable so far.  His heartrate and daily NST are good.  He is still moving around and my contractions are laying low.  So far there are no signs of an infection...and so we continue to wait.  Waiting is good...but is so hard. 

So long Saturday

Another day is almost done.  It is sad to be counting the days away, but when you are stuck in a hospital room, it is about all you can do.  I learned today that each day that Eli stays put will cut off about 3 days in the NICU.  That is a good perspective for me to remember because at times this is terribly hard and I am ready to be done!

Kev took me outside for my wheelchair ride today.  It was my first time outside in a week and two days.  The sunshine felt good.  It was strange because it was a reminder that life is still very much happening all around even though it feels like we are locked in a strange kind of dream. 

I am so anxious to go home.  I cannot wait to sleep in my own bed.  To shower in my clean shower.  To be the one caring for my girls.  To have freedom again.  I know as soon as I leave the hospital I will be torn, because I will be leaving my precious little newborn behind.  I am sure the minute I get home, I am going to feel the need to get back.  Please Lord help us through this time. 

Once again today I was so grateful for the sweet friends who stopped in and passed some time with us.  We appreciate it more than you know!

A Good Day!

Today was such a better day than yesterday.  I got to see my girls.  I had several sweet friends stop in and visit.  Time seemed to pass without me watching each hour on the clock.  I am so thankful for that. 

We got surprise visit tonight from our sweet friends, the Kutilek's.  We met them about eight years ago when they visited our Sunday School class at church. It seems like yesterday we were newlyweds and dreaming of having a family.  They have always been very special friends to us throughout the years despite living in different places.  They drove about 5 hours with 3 small kids to visit us at the hospital.  It meant so much to us.

Another day down....another day Eli could grow.  I can almost see week 32 in sight!