I Remember

I remember....

-my two sweet nurses , Mary and Becky...sweet nurses...who helped me through the fears of my first delivery.

-the shirt that Kev wore that day. It still hangs in his closet yet hasn't been worn since.

-that small little room where God made His presence so real to me.

-seeing my first born child. I thought he was the most precious thing I'd ever seen.

-his toes like his daddy and his little bit of reddish hair.

-his mouth that is like is sisters.

-wishing things were different yet knowing God would use this in our lives.

-watching my parents hold my child for the first time.

-friends that came by to show us love...friends from our Sunday School class, a parent from my first grade class at school.

-knowing Samuel was in the presence of my Saviour as I held his physical body.

-cards upon cards that were sent by our church family and friends.

-the many donations made to our church nursery fund in memory of Samuel.

-the sweet charm bought by a new friend who had lost a baby. She had it engraved with Samuel name and birth date and brought it to me to wear to the funeral.

-The huge meal of spaghetti and salad made by our Sunday School class and other meals brought to us by our church family.

-carrying Samuel's pictures in my purse each day and wanting to "show him off to everyone" yet you just can't.

-keeping his pictures and blanket out for a long time....then moving them to a special box in our room...and then just last year being able to move the box to our living room. I think anyone who has lost a loved one can relate to just needing those things close by.

-sitting in the foyer of the hospital as Kevin pulled up the car. They made me leave in a wheel chair even though I said I was fine to walk. I remember sitting there empty handed...

-feeling proud of myself for delivering a baby... I had been so scared!

-that little blue box....so small yet so valuable to me.

-the beautiful and warm February afternoon.

-the light breeze that filled the tent.

-the quiver in my dad's voice and he conducted the funeral.

-feeling more unified than ever with Kevin...we were a team and this had happened to US.

-the beautiful flowers sent to my mom's house.

-"It is well, with my soul" and "I Am"

-All the cars lined up around the cemetery.

-Being so thankful to get to stay at my parents house for a while.

-Singing "Blessed be your Name" the first Sunday back at church.


I want to remember his life and the special people, gifts, and things that ministered to our hearts. Our families are so sweet to continue to remember Samuel's little life in special ways. Kev's parents put new flowers on his grave each year on his birthday. We appreciate that so much. My parents always do different things. This year they are making a donation to the Haiti relief fund in his memory. I thought this perfect! My sister jess and her husband ryan sponsored a Compassion child with Samuel's birthday in his memory. So sweet. These things mean so much to us and help to make his birthday so special. You can click here to read my sister's post.

Tom. is a busy day for us with church and a baby shower in the afternoon so we are planning to release Samuel's balloon's before church. This might be a great feat since we have trouble getting to church on time, despite my hard efforts. We would have done it today but it has been the coldest and rainiest day we've had in a long time. You can click here to see what we did last year.

"A faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time." Titus 1:2