Whew!

Well, it is only a little after noon and I have already seen the pediatrician and my OB/Gyn today. e has had a runny nose for a week, then a mild rash and then last night she threw up in her crib...around 2am. I sent Kev into check on her because she was crying. I was half asleep and all I remember was him yelling I need you up now! Needless to say she got to sleep with mommy and daddy for the rest of the night. I took her in first thing this morning...and the doc. thinks it is just viral and likely ending. I think she may have coughed some which made her get sick. At least I'm hoping! So far so good today. She is playing well and eating well! Praise the Lord!

So I got home and my cell phone rang and it was my ob. She said that the pathologist had called her this morning and something odd showed up in the pathology report. She said I needed to be checked asap and that most likely it was just a contamination in the report but that it could indicate a serious problem for me. Oh great! So off i flew to the doc. My dad babysat e and my mom went with me. I think my nerves and my mom's are about shot but luckily we were able to make ourselves laugh while we waited. Evidently the report could have signified that some of my bowels were sucked into my uterus during the procedure and if that were the case I would be well as she said...close to death at this point. I had told her on the phone that I had been feeling okay and did not feel near death but I think she just had to see me to believe it herself. So more lab work and an ultrasound and good news...looks like I am not dying after all. I tell you if it is rare... I mean like never happens to anyone else... chances are it'll happen to me. My Doc. just called back and said my labs look normal. Praise the Lord for another good report!

So maybe life can calm down just a little for me to wrap my head around the fact that tom. is Christmas Eve. I mean I don't want to be so flustered, busy and consumed with my own concerns that I miss it...

You know a year can make a big difference in one's life. I remember Dec. of 2006. We'd spent the entire year after losing Samuel trying to get pregnant. We even had our second IUI done at 10am on Christmas eve..not because that was our timing but because it was my body's timing. I was worn out yet hopeful. We didn't get pregnant that cycle either but you know what it was just around the corner. If only on December 24th 2006 I could have seen myself on December 24th 2007! I would have seen that God's timing was perfect...that I had the baby girl that I'd always prayed for...I would have seen the blessing! I keep reminding myself of that as I know that this Christmas may not look exactly like I had planned...I'd planned to be 12 weeks pregnant and glowing..but God knows what He has going on. I only wonder what we will be on December 24th, 2009! Don't loose faith.