Today I am having a Samuel day. I guess the only person that knows what this means is Kevin. We usually just say that and we both understand. A Samuel day is a day when I feel like I am on the verge of tears all day...a day when I feel sad...a day when I just wish I had my two kids riding happily in the back of the explorer...a day when selfishly I wish Samuel was not in heaven but at home with us. I know that if I could see him in heaven that I would for not one second want him to leave the peace and joy of heaven for this old earth..but the mommy in me misses my little boy. I am thankful to have this blog. I need a place to go to just say...today I am sad and that's okay. I hate burdening others with my grief and it's hard to explain how affected my life is by losing him to those who have never expereinced such a loss.
I just can't stop thinking about how cute he and Ella would be now playing together. We see such a resemblence of little Samuel in Ella and we wish we could see what he would look like at 2 1/2. I am going to post a few pictures of him for those of you who are curious as to who our special little guy was.