So long Saturday

Another day is almost done.  It is sad to be counting the days away, but when you are stuck in a hospital room, it is about all you can do.  I learned today that each day that Eli stays put will cut off about 3 days in the NICU.  That is a good perspective for me to remember because at times this is terribly hard and I am ready to be done!

Kev took me outside for my wheelchair ride today.  It was my first time outside in a week and two days.  The sunshine felt good.  It was strange because it was a reminder that life is still very much happening all around even though it feels like we are locked in a strange kind of dream. 

I am so anxious to go home.  I cannot wait to sleep in my own bed.  To shower in my clean shower.  To be the one caring for my girls.  To have freedom again.  I know as soon as I leave the hospital I will be torn, because I will be leaving my precious little newborn behind.  I am sure the minute I get home, I am going to feel the need to get back.  Please Lord help us through this time. 

Once again today I was so grateful for the sweet friends who stopped in and passed some time with us.  We appreciate it more than you know!

A Good Day!

Today was such a better day than yesterday.  I got to see my girls.  I had several sweet friends stop in and visit.  Time seemed to pass without me watching each hour on the clock.  I am so thankful for that. 

We got surprise visit tonight from our sweet friends, the Kutilek's.  We met them about eight years ago when they visited our Sunday School class at church. It seems like yesterday we were newlyweds and dreaming of having a family.  They have always been very special friends to us throughout the years despite living in different places.  They drove about 5 hours with 3 small kids to visit us at the hospital.  It meant so much to us.

Another day down....another day Eli could grow.  I can almost see week 32 in sight! 

Long Day

Today was a very, very long day.  It was the first day that I spent the day completely alone sitting in this lovely little room.  As the day went on, I felt more and more alone and sad.  I have made it one week now at the hospital and I am missing my home and our normal life so much.  I miss being at home with my girls so much I almost cannot stand it.  I think the hardest part is that I know it very well could be two and a half more weeks.  Normally that would seem like nothing, but in this situation it seems like an eternity.  I know I have to take it one day at a time,

I did have an ultrasound this morning and it went pretty well.  My fluids levels were higher than they had expected, especially since I have been ruptured for over a week now.  The other good news was that Eli's left ventricle, which has always been the largest one only measured 13mm today.  That is one mm less than it measured last Thursday. One mm is not a big difference and they said it could just be a measurement error.  Either way, I am so thankful that it measured less and hasn't increased now in 3 weeks. That is awesome news.  Maybe all this hardwork with prenatal surgery, bedrest and now hospital bedrest won't be in vain.  It would definitely be worth it if we can be one of the fortunate ones to avoid a shunt.  

The only discouraging news was that they saw minimal movement in his legs and knees.  We did see a little bit, but he said it was concerning.  That is always hard news to hear.  I am praying and praying that maybe he will surprise us when he is born. 

Another Day Down

I figured if we are going to have many pictures from this summer, we better get started taking some each day at the hospital.

Ella trying out my leg massagers.  She told me she was about to have surgery. 

The best part of visiting mommy....

is a daily treat from the gift shop!

We had a good day today.  Kev had some appointments this morning and I spent a little time alone.  Each day I am determined to get up and to feel as normal as possible.  Generally each day someone comes in my room and sees me and says, "Oh, it looks like you are about to be discharged."  I wish!  I always feel better when I am showered, dressed and ready for the day...even if that only involves sitting!

We had several sweet visitors today who helped us pass some time.  We are so thankful for so many sweet, sweet friends who are such a blessing to us. 

We also got to meet with a Neonatologist from the NICU today.  I felt a lot better after meeting her .  I know you can never really know what to expect and having SB will complicate things even more, but I feel like I better know what to expect. She said that every day that he is inside counts.  She did even say that if he comes out breathing on his own he can go straight to the level 2 nursery!!  You can pray about that if you'd like!!

It is really surreal to me that I will be having a baby (my very last baby)  in less than 3 weeks.  This has been such a different pregnancy.  Normally, I would have everything completely ready for the baby. Tiny clothes would be washed in Dreft and waiting.  Packs of tiny, sweet smelling Swaddler diapers would be lining the closet.  I would have been nesting for weeks.  Our home would be clean and organized.  There would be matching big sister and little brother shirts.  There would be some new toiletries and a new Bath and Body lotion for me, carefully packed in my hospital bag.  There would probably be tears and extra close snuggles, as I treasured my last night with Eliza being the baby.  Needless to say, this is all so different and none of that really matters at all.  I know the feeling will be the same the moment I see my baby! 

31 Weeks

I haven't taken many pregnant pictures this pregnancy.  I figured I better while I still can! 

My two favorite visitors.  Poor daddy...he dressed Ella in Eliza's shorts and I have no clue what Eliza is wearing.
He did try and he did bring bows for me to fix their hair.  Too bad he brought Eliza a red bow for her mismatch outfit!  This definitely made me laugh and brightened our day!

The soon to be big sisters!! Poor Eli...he has no idea what is waiting for him!


Well, the good news is that another day is almost over.  I look at the clock every evening and say, "Yes, this day is over!"   So far so good! 

Monday almost to 31

Today has been a good day at the hospital.  Well, as good as a day of hospital bedrest can be!  We were thankful to have some sweet friends come and visit us today and that helped to make the day pass faster.  Daddy went home tonight to spend some time with our girls and gather some needed supplies. 

I will be 31 weeks tomorrow.  So far things continue to be stable with no signs of a problem.  I am trying my best to get further, but there is really not much I can do at this point.  Our nurse told us last night that about 50% of women deliver within the first week of PROM(premature rupture of membranes) and another 50% will deliver in the second week.  Some make it even further.  Really, no one knows how long it will be. 

We met with a developmental pediatrician and nurse from the Spina Bifida clinic here this afternoon.  We had planned to go visit on the next clinic day just to get an idea of what it is like...but obviously we aren't going to make it so they came to visit us.  It is overwhelming when I think that once we get through the delivery and all the NICU issues, we are just beginning our journey with Spina Bifida.  I am continuing to pray for the best as any parent would. 

So, that was our day. Here's to 31 weeks tomorrow! 

Buying Time

Thankfully yesterday was a much quieter day in the life of our family.  Kev and I spent the day with him laying in the hospital chair reclined and me in the bed.  He is very bruised and very sore. Yet,  I continue to be so thankful that he was able to walk away from such a terrible accident.  When I look at the pictures of the accident on-line and from the news I cannot believe it is our car that I am looking at.  I also cannot believe that he was in there.  I am so thankful that he is alive and only just sore and bruised.

Things with Eli seem to be pretty good so far.  I have received both of my steroid shots to aid in his lung development and they have both had time to take full effect. I have been on antibiotics since I got here and so far there are no signs of infection.  My contractions seem to be laying low today, which is good.  It is hard because we are just waiting....pretty much waiting for something to go wrong and immediately off to surgery I will go.  I don't really like the idea of an emergency C-section, but I guess nothing about this pregnancy normal.

I feel so torn.  I know Eli needs as much time as possible to grow and gain weight inside of me, but being here is really hard!  I think knowing that I could possibly have another 3 weeks and two days before my c-section plus my recovery days plus all of Eli's NICU days....I am thinking I may never leave.   The doctor did say this morning that starting tomorrow I can have some wheelchair privileges around the hospital and maybe a short time outside for my sanity.  That sounds really nice....this little room is getting really little! 

I am also a bit of a germaphobe at a hospital.   I hate for anything to touch the floor.  I just never feel like anything is clean.  I am just plain paranoid!  Not a good thing when this is your living quarters for a while. I may be requesting my own can of Lysol before this is all over!!
The hardest part of it all is missing my girls.  I miss them terribly even though they have come for several short visits so far.  Ella brought me about 15 pictures she had colored and I couldn't help but cry.  We are really trying our best to keep them in a normal routine with as little change as possible.  This is best for them as well as mommy and daddy. 

Finally, Happy Father's day to my wonderful Dad!  You once again exemplified why you are such a great dad on Friday when you sprinted down hwy. 61 to get to Kevin right after his accident (traffic was very backed up and he had to park and run a ways to the scene of the accident).  We are so thankful for your unconditional love for all of us.