Remembering!

I have sat at my computer today and had two good cries. Earlier this morning I read the blog of kelly's friend katie who lost her beautiful baby girl Reese Catherine just a few days ago. I watched the beautiful video and cried like I haven't in a long time. Then this afternoon Kelly posted Angie Smith's video with her baby Audrey. I cannot help as I sat and watched and felt eliza move and wiggle be overcome with thankfulness, fear and remembrance. It wasn't so long along that Kevin and I were in the midst of our grief. I am so thankful that those intense seasons of grief do pass and the Lord once again brings joy and hope to lives. I cannot imagine going through a loss without the Lord in one's life.

Today I took ella to have her picture made. I figured it would be the last time I will probably ever take just one child to have their picture made. She did so great! So much better than she did in the spring. She acted so much more mature. She sat and said cheese...and I wasn't chasing her all over the studio. While I looked at the pictures she was content to play with the legos they had there! When I viewed the pictures I couldn't believe how much older she is looking. So much more like a little girl. When I got home I replaced her Christmas picture in our room with her new one (in which she is raising up one side of her dress and has both arms in the air!) It was too cute and totally captured my ella at this age. She still looked like a baby in her Christmas picture but not anymore. Time does go fast!

While we were there ella made friends with a little boy who was probably three or four. I sat there and watched them play and thought about what it would be like if Samuel were there with us. I know ella would love him like crazy and I am sure he would be a good big helper. I can hardly picture myself having a son that age. It is hard to understand the why things like this happen but I can say that God is good. Almost four years down the path and our lives are full, happy and restored. I know there will always be a missing place in our little family...a place that only a one precious little boy could fill...but we are thankful for the healing that has come to our hearts.