Saturday...still hanging at the hospital

Kev is channel surfing on our four channels and I am surfing the Internet.  Today was a LONG day here at the hospital.  I was so glad to have my mom here with me today.  Kev got to spend some time with our girls.  They went to an Easter Egg hunt with our sweet friends who live here in town and I heard they had a great time.  The hunt was at a farm and they got to see all kinds of animals.  I was proud of daddy getting them dressed in their correct egg hunting outfits and he assured me that they wore their matching hair bows.  So glad to know they can carry on without me! :)  I think they were all worn out this afternoon, but I am so glad they had such a nice time.

Mom got us lunch from the cafeteria and we flipped the channels over and over and switched sharing the laptop.  At one point we were going so stir crazy that we started laughing over something silly and quickly realized that laughing and a stapled stomach are a really bad combination.  I don't think I have ever sat so much in my life. I know it is only just the beginning.

Later this evening Kevin and the girls brought me dinner from The Cheesecake Factory.  It was DE-LISH and I assure you the best thing I've had all week.  I am so over hospital food.  I got to see the girls for the bit and Eliza kept patting my tummy...very gently.  I guess she has heard that mommy has an owie on my tummy.  Ella wanted to play doctor again and check me out...that makes me nervous.  I can't wait to be with them again.

I think my worst pain today has been this terrible horrible no good very bad gas pain.  I cannot believe I am writing that on my blog.  When I say gas it is not the embarrassing kind of gas, but just the horrible kind that causes sharp miserable pains.  That combined with both an internal incision and and external one and a little one inside moving and kicking....whew!!  Let's just say that I am praying things get better soon.  My incision pain still hurts a lot esp. as the meds begin to wear off but it is more manageable.  I feel really sore all over.  My back really hurts and I can't seem to get comfortable when sitting and laying.  I know each day will better!

This has been the longest week of my life and yet it the hard times there has been blessings.  I cannot tell you how much I love my doctor here, Dr. Carroll.  She is the best doctor I have ever seen in my life.  I wish I could move her to Charleston or fly here each week for my appointments.  She is so caring and has such a good bedside manner. She has spent so much time talking to us and getting to know us and our family.  She is proactive and explains everything so we can understand. We have all been so impressed.  The nurses and other staff members have also been wonderful.  I am so thankful for the care they have given to me. 

So, we are praying to maybe get discharged tom. if I am feeling more normal and hoping that is the case.  If you get a chance, say a prayer for my dad,  He left being with us on Thursday to drive back home to be at church for Good Friday and Easter services.  My mom talked to him today and he is so sick with a terrible stomach virus.  It is terrible to be the pastor and be sick on Easter Sunday.  He has a great replacement, but I know his heart's desire is to be there tom. and I hate he is sick. 

Post Op. day 3

Today has been by far my roughest day yet.  I have heard day 3 can be this way.  I have been in a lot of pain today and I am really ready to feel even a little better.  Kev went to the hotel tonight to be with the girls and my sweet mom is here with me.  I am so thankful for them all and the care they have been giving to me.  We have a great view from our room, but this little room is getting very old. I will be glad to hopefully be discharged on Sunday!  No pretty Easter dress for me this year!! 
I had a sweet visit from one of my college suite mates tonight who lives in the surrounding area.  It was good to have a visit from her and her sweet family.  She brought Eli some cute little boy clothes and a cute onesie that said little brother.  We keep saying that he better be one sweet, sweet little boy!  I know he will be and this will all be worth it one day.

Today has definitely been a different Good Friday.  I have missed being at church and remembering what the Lord did for me.  I do feel a new and very real appreciation for the physical pain and suffering that Jesus went through as He paid the price for my sins.  I am so thankful to know and love the one who gave His all for me. 

Post Op. Day2

Today started off early with visits from nurses and doctors checking on both me and Eli.  I slept better last night and woke up ready to try to take a shower.  It is crazy to me how hard daily routine things are right after surgery; like turning over in bed or standing up.  I accomplished a nice shower and managed to look at my incision without fainting, although it was close.  I wasn't able to have  horizontal incision so I have a vertical one from my belly button down.  The stapes about made me throw-up.  I vaguely remember coming to a little at the end of the surgery and hearing the stapler.  I was told it looks pretty, but to me I feel rather beat up! 

Kevin has always been my best nurse.  I always say that a true sign of love is not when you are skinny, looking your best or feeling your best ,but rather when you've just had a baby(or still yet to) and
you feel terrible and your body looks it too.  He always takes great care of me and I love him so much.  I know he is proud of me for all I have been through for our little family and times like these always seem to deepen our love for each other. 

I also got a visit from my two little sweeties.  My doctor arranged for a play therapist to come in and make the hospital a little less overwhelming.  She had a doctor's kit and a doll with an IV just like mommy's.  I really think this helped and they had a great time.  It was so good just to see them today. 

I have been beyond impressed by the exceptional care we have received here.  I cannot tell you how sweet and caring the doctors and nurses have been.  We are so thankful for that. 

I am hoping to feel better tomorrow.  I am sure each day will be a little better as I heal.  Looking forward to getting out of the hospital on Sunday and then resting for a while here in Nashville.  Nashville has found a special place in our hearts already.

Post Op day 1

Today is my first day post opt and I am so thankful to have this surgery behind me.  The doctor said that it went picture perfect.  I had very minimal blood loss  and Eli's heart rate didn't even dip at all.  Last night was rough...very rough. I was on more meds than I have ever taken in my entire life.  I tend to have low blood pressure and the meds made it very low so then they had to give more meds to raise it.  The Magnesium made me feel like I'd been run over by a truck and I couldn't keep down my ice chips.  So then there were meds for that, and meds for contractions, and antibiotics, and etc.  Needless to say I m pretty drugged.

This afternoon they finally turned off the Magnesium and took out my epidural and I am so thankful.  I ate some broth and drank some juice and I am starting to feel better.  I have been having some contractions which isn't totally abnormal, we just want them to stop.  Please pray that they can be controlled with meds.  Eli's fluid is also pretty low today which is normal.  It will probably take about a week for it to improve.  Please pray that it will get better with each day! 

We cannot thank you all enough for your prayers for us and our little Eli.  Praising the Lord for his goodness and grace so far.

Tomorrow, your only a day away!

I sit here tonight with a room full of all the people I love most in my life.  Everyone is fast asleep in dreamland and I am loving all the snores and grunts coming from each of them.  I tell you, I am nothing but a hot mess today....and in hot I do not mean "Hot."  I mean a crying, emotional mess.  Honestly, I have never considered myself to be a very emotional person.  I cry at weddings.  I have cried each time I have first seen the faces of my three children.  I sometimes shed a tear or two at a very sad movie.  But if I ever really start...it is hard for me to stop.  Today has been one of those times in my life. 

In my mind over and over I keep thinking, what if this were my last day to live?  What if this was my last night to show love to my family and snuggle my sweet girls?  What if this was my last chance to tell them about Jesus or to have shared with those around me what Christ means to me? 

Don't get me wrong, I am not planning on anything drastic happening tomorrow, but my heart is so full of emotions tonight.

We had our pre-opt appointment today and we got a tour of the L&D floor,  where I will be resting for the next several days.  I saw one poor woman walking the halls stopping and bearing her head into her husband, obviously very much in labor.  Normally, I would have felt sorry for as she breathed through her contractions, but not today.  In fact, I really wish we were arriving tomorrow to have a baby....I do know I can do that and it is so much better than this. 

They gave me these strange wipe like things that I have to use tonight to wipe down my stomach.  There are all these detailed directions to them, like you have to wait one hour after your shower to use them.  You cannot use and lotions, deod., make-up, or etc.  You have to attach the label to a form and return it to the hospital saying that you followed the directions.  I have to admit it is making me a little freaked out.  I guess the purpose is to reduce the amount of germs on your body, and since I am a little germ conscience anyways (esp. with hotels and hospitals) I am a little freaked out by this.  I mean....how much scrubbing should one do? :)

We have been so showered with love from our church family and friends.  We have enough food here to last us a month.  Seriously, we didn't even have to go to a store today to get a thing!!  It has been such a blessing.  We sincerely thank you!

So, tomorrow morning bright and early little Eli's nice, dark and cozy little world will be interrupted by doctor's, nurses, bright lights and even his very first shot.  Our fetal coordinator who is also a nurse practitioner will be in the surgery as well.  She will be calling Kevin throughout the surgery to give him updates.  She will also be taking a picture of little Eli's back for us prior to the repair.  That will be about all of him that we should be able to see, but I cannot believe we will even get to see that much. 

Please pray for us tom.  Please feel free to ask anyone who you know loves the Lord to also pray for us.  We covet your prayers and feel confident that the ultimate healer will be there in the midst with us tomorrow. 

Daily life pictures

They are so silly!

Ella and her babies.

Mommy's Girls!

Little Liza!

About two weeks ago at 20 weeks prego with little Eli.

Mess Makers!!

Sweet little Friends!

Hey, this thing doesn't go!

Home!!!

We arrived back home this morning from a whirlwind trip.  Yesterday we had our consult visit for our prenatal surgery.  Our appointment was at 9am.  We easily found our way and arrived early.  I knew I had lots of people praying for us because I was so calm.  That is not totally the norm for me prior to a big appointment and I was so thankful.  The staff and everyone we met were so incredibly nice. They were very accommodating with a "care cart" full of snacks and drinks.

 The appointment began with a nice long ultrasound for well over an hour.  They carefully inspected every single part of Eli's little, tiny body.  The ultrasound tech was wonderful.  It was a much better experience than some we've had in the past.  Eli did really well.  Every other body part checked out perfectly other than the spina bifida related problems.  Thankfully so far he does not have hydrocephalus.  His ventricles measured 6.1 and 6.5 which are still well within the normal limits.  They do expect them to increase as the pregnancy continues.   His cerebellum does show signs of hindbrain herniation and they agreed that his lesion level is at L5.  This is typical with SB.  We are praying this will improve after the surgery.  We also learned that he weighs a whopping 14oz. and is going normally. 

After the ultrasound we went into a little room and from 10:15 until 3:00 we had back to back meetings with 9 different doctors, surgeons and specialist. I mean we barely had a minute or two between each person,  It was really organized and all the doctors came right to us.  The only problem was that we got so hungry that we thought we were going to die.  I finally sent Kev after that "care cart" and that was a godsend. 

We learned so much, got lots of information and many questions answered.  They laid it all out there for us and weighed the very real risks with the possible advantages for choosing to undergo pre-natal surgery.  It was pretty surreal to talk at length with the "world renowned prenatal surgeons."  It was also very humbling to meet the surgeons who will in a few short days be operating on myself as well as our little Eli.  When Dr. Tulipan came in I have to admit I almost cried.  He is a surgeon who has dedicated his life to this surgery and although he was very matter of fact, it was amazing to meet someone whose hands in a few days, would be touching our unborn baby. 

Before we left we gave them our verbal commitment and the surgery is scheduled.  I can't say that I am excited.  I am terrified!  I feel like this is the best decision we can make for our family and most importantly for Eli.  I know when I see his sweet little face, I will want to know that  I tried to do everything I could to give him the best quality of life.  I don't want to have regrets due to my own personal fears or because I'd rather spend the summer at the beach and pool rather than in the bed or couch. 

Many friends have told me that they wanted to know how they can specifically pray for us...so here you go:
1) First of all we have a HUGE PRAISE.  We got a call this afternoon that BCBS (insurance) approved our case and that means that most likely we will pay a much smaller portion than we might have had too.  Instead of $68,000 we will likely only pay around $7,000.   This is a huge answer to prayer.  Especially since just yesterday the same lady thought that it would take about six months of appeals before we'd finally know what we'd be left with.  I really think it is another confirmation from the Lord to proceed. 

2)Pray for Kevin as he finishes his semester of school.  He has several papers and exams to take in the next few weeks. 
3)Pray for our girls as they are going to be out of their element for quite some time.  We have lots of fun things planned for them, but it is hard to have them out of their routine.  Please pray that they will have fun and be easy on my sweet parents. Please pray that they will stay well while we are not near our doctors.
4)Pray for my parents as they step up to the plate and care for our girls.  I know we won't worry about them when they are with them, so it is a huge blessing to us.
5) Please pray for the surgery and the doctors.  Pray that it can go without complications or infection.  Please pray that my body will heal quickly.
6) Please pray for little Eli that he will do fine and tolerate the surgery. 
7) Please pray that I will not go into labor following the surgery.  My goal is to make it to July 12th!!  Please pray that we can get there. 
8)Please pray that Eli might be one of the few kids with SB that does not require a brain shunt.  This would be huge.
9) Please pray that we will be surprised by his functional level as he grows and that one day he will walk!!!

I could go on and on...but I am sure you have enough to work with.  Thank you all for praying for us.