Worry!

Worry is such a terrible thing. It can put you in a crummy mood, steal your joy, make you feel sick, and make for a very long day! I woke up this morning around 4am full of worry! I normally don't feel that I am an overly worried person, but there are always certain big worries that bother me. Let me just tell you that being wide awake at 4am when you are on bed rest can make for a very long day! I felt that anxious feeling over my induction on Tues. I am no longer worried over being at the hospital, pain, needles like I was in my first pregnancy...but I was worried about the timing of it all. I had a super fast delivery with ella...like 4 hours from the beginning of the induction... and she was coming faster than my doctor could get back from lunch. I have that GB strep this time (I didn't have it with samuel or ella) and have to have the antibiotics prior to delivery. You have to have 4 hours between doses. My doctor said she was worried about this delivery going even faster and will be trying to slow things down. I was worried about getting the antibiotics and epidural in time! These are both things that I have absolutely NO control over but the worry over them was not fun.

I have a dermatology appointment in November that I have been putting off until after I have eliza. I have a few moles and sunspots that are very concerning to me. I read something in a magazine yesterday that really caused me to really worry. In my mind I already have skin cancer, facing major surgery on my face, and am dying leaving Kev alone with two little girls. Isn't this terrible. I do regularly go to the dermatologist because skin cancer runs in my family and hello...I am a prime candidate! This fear is one that seems to always get me.

As a mom I always worry over my kids. The worst thought in the world is something happening to them. I worry about big things like cancer or car wrecks! Fears like these can stop you in your tracks.

So at 4 am in the morning what is one to do. I wasn't gonna wake Kevin up and tell him that I was sitting in the pit of worry! He'd be half awake and not ready to give sound advice...trust me. I wasn't gonna call my mom...although she was most likely awake (she's a super early bird)...and let her help calm my worries. My only option was the only option that really can do anything about these worries at all. I laid in my bed and cried out to the Lord...confessing my fears and lack of faith. Trying to release these things to him and begging Him for protection over myself and my family. Thankfully I was able to go back to sleep after a few hours and woke up feeling so much better.

"Cast your cares upon Him, for He cares for you!"