Bed Rest Day 4

Today has been another slow day. I am so thankful that Kevin has today and tom. off, he is such a big help! I just wish we were able to spend a fun family day tog. I am feeling anxious. I am preparing myself mentally for the reality that eliza could be very small, may not breathe well on her own and may have to stay longer in the hospital. Can I just tell you how much I do not want to leave the hospital without my baby in my arms. That is the worst experience and I just feel like a cloud of doom is hanging over my head today. I just want another healthy baby. Why is that so hard for me to get! I don't feel like I was prepared for things not going just right this time. Maybe it is because I had a wonderful pregnancy with ella and a super fast and easy delivery! I just wanted that again...I don't want things to get complicated!