Saturday, November 7th, 2009 will mark exactly four years since my life changed! November 7th,2005 we walked into my Ob office for our 20 week ultrasound and walked out with our lives forever changed. It was that day that now seems like a long time ago! It was the day that our first child, Samuel, was diagnosed with a fatal kidney problem at 20 weeks into our pregnancy. It was that day that my pro-life stance took on a whole new and personal meaning.
While many onlookers and doctors questioned and advised us to end our pregnancy(no baby with this condition had ever survived), we knew that our baby had the right to life...no matter how brief it might be. I will tell you that in those 13 weeks of carrying Samuel when I and everyone else knew that my baby was dying, I often felt like Hester Prynne (I did have to look up her name) from the book the Scarlett Letter....wearing a huge sign on my shirt saying...."My baby is going to die!" It was a rough time and although the Lord gave us grace and hope to get through it...there were days when I really just wanted it all to be OVER! I was tired of people feeling sorry for us and tired of being stuck on a merry-go-round that I couldn't stop! I know that may sound harsh but I was scared and hurting. Thankfully, we were surrounded my friends and family who loved us and gave us sound counsel when we were tired and discouraged! They encouraged us that God had a plan for us and a plan for our unborn child. They encouraged us that this rough season of life would pass and that "spring" would come. They encouraged us with cards, prayers, meals, and friendship!
I cannot tell you how thankful I am that I am Pro-life! That is one of the best decisions I have ever made! By choosing life for our little Samuel, I now face everyday without a hint of regret or guilt. I know that I did all that I could do to give Samuel the best environment to grow. I know that the day he was born and the day that he died was his appointted day. Although I will never understand all the whys, I do know that God has used his little life to shape our lives more than any other thing we have faced. He was my precious little boy and I will never regret meeting him and giving him life.
I do not write any of that to impose guilt onto anyone who may have chosen differently than I . I write it because I know that there are thousands of women who are faced with unwanted, terminal or difficult pregnancy and they lack the support that Kevin and I had.
This November 7th our now family of FOUR will be walking bright and early on Saturday in the Lowcountry Walk For Life. It is a fundraiser for the Crisis Pregnancy Center in our Town. This is an awesome nonprofit ministry that offers life-affirming alternatives to abortion. They offer free pregnancy testing, counseling, ultrasounds, literacy classes, parenting classes, and on-site prenatal care. They also help with adoption referrals and post-abortion support. They are changing lives in our town. They are providing the care, love and support that many women need in order to get through a difficult pregnancy. We are walking to raise money for this great ministry but also to say that life matters no matter how small!
I am so thankful for how the Lord has blessed us since November 7th, 2005. He took our sadness and pain and has turned it to joy. He has filled our home with babies and baby "stuff!" He has given us a hope and a future! All praise be to God for He does ALL things well!
2 comments:
This was a great post. Wish I could walk on Saturday but will support you all.
Great post, Julie. I think of you and pray for you and your growing family often. I never even thought about the effect that being pro-life woud have had on you with Samuel. It just goes to show that there are always so many layers to something that you never even considered. I hope the walk was meaningful for you and yours!
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