Sisters and brother

Two big sisters who are loved so very much.  Bringing us daily laughter and joy....they fill our home with bows and bloomers, purses and babies.   They love each other fiercely and fight as sisters do.  They cry and comfort when the other is punished, and melt mommy's heart as they hold hands sweetly in the back seat of the van.  They have their own "play" that often leaves us wondering.  They love to match, most days.... and Ella often confesses that Eliza is her favorite friend.  Eliza is content letting Ella take the lead and often does whatever Ella tells her to do (not always the best idea).  These two sweet girls redeemed our loss and have filled our hearts with thankfulness.   They remind me of health, happiness and normalcy.

Little brother...so new and so young.  Each day we are learning you more and loving you more.  You are teaching us to look at life from an eternal perspective.  You are teaching us that it is okay to be different...okay to have challenges.   You have rocked our little world and all I know is that God must have some awesome plan for you.  Every little milestone...even as small as tracking a toy or responding to a sound is a new celebration.  We will walk through the challenges ahead beside you, cheering you on and upholding you with our love.  Little brother....so loved, so cherished, so very sweet.

We Ask...

Ella kissing Eli's little foot

Everynight at bedtime Ella prays for Eli.  She won't go to bed without praying for him (which quite possibly could be a stall tactic..but it always works none the less).  We have been slow to share much with her about spina bifida and Eli's disability.  Pretty much all we have said is that we needed to pray for Eli's little legs that they will grow strong.  She is a smartie and always picks up on more than I think she is.  Everynight she says, "Thank you Lord for this day.  We ask for Eli's little legs to grow strong so he can use a walker one day."  She has also started adding in a new line that goes something like this, "Lord you are all our hope."  Then she bee-bops down the hall and jumps into bed.  I cannot tell you how much her little prayers, bursting with childlike faith, bless and encourage her mommy's heart.

A sneek peek!

A friend of ours took some pictures of Eli and our family a few weeks ago.  I thought I'd share just a few. 

Happy 33rd Kev!!

Eliza and her daddy!

Hospital days

More hospital days!

Daddy and his BOY!

I never want to see you dressed like this again, but I am so thankful you were with me.

Holding Eli for the first time!

Ella and Daddy in the NICU

Oh those hospital days!

The boys napping!!

Today is Kev's 33rd birthday.  I have been stressed all day because I'd like to have the house clean, dinner cooked, a cake made, and a gift bought and wrapped in a few short hours.  As the morning has progressed I have felt the stress rising, knowing that there is no way I can get it all done and be Betty Crocker home maker, shopper, kid feeder, house cleaner, and birthday party extraordinaire planner all in the hours of this day.  If there is anything that 2011 has taught us and is teaching us is that we cannot do it all or be it all! 

In our eight short years of marriage this one has taken the cake!  If there was ever a year that either one of us would like to get in the car and drive as far away as possible or throw in the towel...it would be this one.  We often laugh that we really didn't know what for better or for worse really meant!  It means a lot and the stress of this year has been really hard on us individually as well as our marriage.  It hasn't been all pretty, but we are continuing to learn what it means to be married, to show grace, and to individually seek the Lord.

I am so thankful that I am married to such a faithful and loving husband.  He has loved me on the days when I was so blown up with fluids from that awful c-section...I seriously felt pretty unlovable.  He has loved me on days when I have lost my temper in frustration and anger.  He has loved me on days when the tears wouldn't stop flowing I couldn't explain why. He has helped me in the middle of night when I  felt so sleep deprived that I couldn't wake up one more time.  He has bought groceries, cooked meals, taken over bathtime,  and helped me try to keep our house in order.  I would have lost my mind these past 7 weeks without him.

I am so thankful for Kev's faith.  His faith that God has a plan for us and for Eli has helped me not to lose mine.  Honestly, I have never seen him express anger over the fact that Eli might never play typical sports or that his son has a disability.  He has reminded me many times that there is so much more in life than sports!  I am so thankful that Eli will have such a strong and God-loving dad to look up to.  I am encouraged that Eli will grow up to be a very normal, yet extraordinary guy because of his dad's influence in his life.

His two little ladies think he is pretty great too! 

So, the house may still be messy (I have been cleaning up messes all day), and dinner may not be hot or even finished, and a cake...we'll we are really trying to lose some pounds, and a gift...it may be delayed until you can watch the kids and I can shop. BUT, I hope you know how much this family needs you and how much you are loved.  

Busy Week

This has been a super busy week of appointments for us.  Eli had his first spina bifida clinic day on Tuesday.  Today we met with the Early Interventionist, went to the brace company to get his hip brace fixed and then Eli and Eliza had a check-up with our regular pediatrician.  Tomorrow is my 6 week check-up and Monday is the dentist.  I must say that it is busy trying to make sure we have everything that each of our littles might need during such busy running around days.  I am sure you moms can understand. 

I am happy to report that so far little Eli is doing well.  He now weighs 8lbs 6oz.  That is a big gain for our little preemie.  I finally have a baby who loves to eat and has big chubby cheeks!!  Thankfully, his head circumference growth is normal. They will recheck it again in two weeks when we see the neurosurgeon.  I am thankful for each day the we go without the need of a shunt.  We will have some bigger tests coming up in November to get a better look at his kidneys, bladder and etc.  I am praying already that it will go well. 

I am exhausted and need to cherish my minutes while the house is calm and quiet. 

His Mat

Last week I was driving home in our van.  Ella and Eliza were sitting in the back and Eli was asleep in the middle.  All was quiet and I was in the zone (paying attention to the road of course).  Ella said from the back, "Mom, can we hear some music?"  I flipped on the radio which was set to our local christian station.  Focus on the Family was coming on.  It is funny how their broadcast can instantly take me back to my childhood days spent sitting in the backseat, while my mom listened in the carpool line.  So funny and strange that I am now the mom.

The broadcast was about Moms in Touch, a program in which moms meet solely to pray for their children.  The founder of the program said something that really stood out to me.  She referenced the passage of scripture found in  Mark chapter 2  where a paralytic man was lowered down from the roof of a crowded house by his friends.

 ¹ A few days later, when Jesus again entered Capernaum, the people heard that he had come home. ² They gathered in such large numbers that there was no room left, not even outside the door, and he preached the word to them. ³ Some men came, bringing to him a paralyzed man, carried by four of them. ⁴ Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus by digging through it and then lowered the mat the man was lying on. ⁵ When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralyzed man, “Son, your sins are forgiven.”
⁶ Now some teachers of the law were sitting there, thinking to themselves, ⁷ “Why does this fellow talk like that? He’s blaspheming! Who can forgive sins but God alone?”
⁸ Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, “Why are you thinking these things? ⁹ Which is easier: to say to this paralyzed man, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up, take your mat and walk’? ¹⁰ But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.” So he said to the man, ¹¹ “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” ¹² He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this!”

I am sure many of you are familiar with this story as I was.  The friends out of love and faith carried and lowered the paralyzed man down to where Jesus was.  The scripture says that Jesus forgave the man's sins due to "friends" faith and he also healed him physically.  I am not sure why this story brought such new meaning to me...maybe it was because the man was paralyzed, maybe because Jesus healed the man, but it has been on my mind over and over throughout the past few days.

I keep thinking about these very loving friends.  Friends who cared enough to do the hard work of carrying someone who was perhaps heavy or uncomfortable.  Who knows how far or how long they had carried this man in order to get him there.  They were friends who obviously sacrificed their time and their own agendas to get their friend to Jesus.  They were diligent.  They didn't turn around when they saw the room was already crowded.  They were both persistant and creative.  They showed great love.  

I think this story resonated so much with me because I honestly feel like there have been so many carrying our little Eli's mat.  It is evidenced by the line that forms at church of  both men, women, young and old, who just want to seek a peek at our new little guy.  It is evidenced in the eyes filled with tears of those who have lifted our little guy to the Lord over and over throughout the past few months.  It is evidenced on the palm tree in our church's children's building.  It is filled with prayer request sheets on which many have the name Eli, written in sweet little kid handwritting.  It is seen when a child sees him at church and says, "Mom, there's baby Eli" or when they ask me about his legs and how they are doing.  I know they and their families are praying for him in their homes.   It is evidenced by many from all over...some we know and some we have yet to meet who have been so faithful to carry Eli's name faithfully before the Lord. 

When I listened to this story the other day, I was reminded that there are many who have faithfully lifted Eli to the Lord in persistence and diligence.  So many friends who have exercised faith on our behalf.  So many sweet friends who have carried Eli's mat. 

Late Night Thoughts

1.  It is late.  Very late considering it will be a long night.  Kev and I put the girls to bed tonight and then we took our very very messy house to bat!  I think I have cleaned a million times this week, but it was still a terrible disaster. Somewhere in the week I usually give up on the battle.  In fact, it was so bad tonight that Kev even was ready to get it back clean.  Here's to hoping it will still be semi clean by lunchtime tom. 

2.  Eli has to eat in about 30 minutes and I would rather waste 30 minutes on the computer than just barely get into a deep sleep and have to wake back up. 

3.  Both Ella and Eliza slept through the night at about 6 weeks.  Eli says he technically should still be in the womb, so it qualifies him for at least another 6 weeks.  I sure hope not.

4.  Enough about sleep...I am trying to lose these pregnancy pounds.  It is not fun or easy and I am hoping this is the last time I have to lose the weight.  Yes, I know it takes a while, but my wardrobe says...please hurry!!!

5.  Ella loves her baby brother.  Every morning she says, "I haven't got my morning kiss."  She also tells him multiple times a day that he is her best buddy.  She has been really helpful with him and is turning into a great big sister.  I am just praying she doesn't get too confident and try to pick him up on her own.

6.  Eliza has found the terrible two's.  I don't recommend bringing home a newborn with a two year old on the horizon.  You'd think I'd have learned the first time!!! 

7.  Eli is getting chunky.  I can't wait to see how much he weighs at the doctor this week. 

8.  Speaking of doctors...we have his first Spina Bifida clinic day this week as well as him first meeting with the early interventionist that we will be working with.   We will also see our regular Ped.  too.  Lots of appointments this week.

9. I got a new plug in from Bath and Body and it smells of Fall.  I love how you can smell them so well for the first day or two.  Makes me excited for football, pumpkin patch trips, and Christmas music (yes, I do begin listening way to early). 

10.  As I have read lots of friend's posts this week on facebook, my mind keeps thinking that this would have been Samuel's first week of kindergarten.  It is hard to believe that he would already be that old.  Although my mind has been so distracted with our new little boy, there are many days I sure wish my big boy was here to help and teach his little brother the ropes.  Maybe I wouldn't feel so unsure about raising a son if I had done it first.

11.  There are many more random thoughts going through my head...but I am sure that is way more than anyone was interested in knowing.  Time to feed a baby boy who has his eyes open.