Trying to find the silver lining!

Today I am sitting at home for the third week in a row while Kevin and ella are at church. I miss being there feel somewhat disconnected from the world. I know now that it will be several weeks until I will be able to go back to church...unless I can beg my doc. to let me off bed rest a little next weekend! I am so eager to get out and get moving! I miss going about my daily life, running errands, picking up ella, cooking, and yes even cleaning my house. I know these are all things that I normally loathe....and they all wear me out and can be daily frustrations, but not being able to do them has given me a new appreciation for my Independence. I may have this baby and hit the ground running...literally!

So while I am sitting trying to not feel sorry for myself (which is a terrible place to be) I figured I should try to focus on all the things I have to be thankful for today. This always makes me feel better!
1. I am normally healthy and under normal circumstances lead a very busy and full life.
2. I normally can drive a car and take care of ella and my family.
3. I have a healthy almost 2 year old...who is growing and active!
4. I have a husband who loves me and is working hard to take care of us.
5. I have a house..and many in the world do not!
6. I have a baby that is alive inside of me.
7. I have a doctor who is very cautious and cares for the health of my unborn child.
8. I have clean carpets...kev cleaned them yesterday.
9. I have got a lot done in the weeks prior to my bed rest which was a good thing!
10. I am almost done with this pregnancy...8 more days!
11. Eliza's condition of growth restriction...although it can be serious so far she seems to be growing and tolerating being inside for a while longer.
12. I have people who love me and can help me when needed.
13. I can get up and take a shower everyday...I am sure some women on bed rest can't do that!
As always there are so many things to be thankful for...even when life isn't going as you'd like!
Praying that I can stay focused on the goal of getting this baby girl here healthy and safe this next week...because I'd sure love to sneak off to Target while everyone I know is at church! Don't worry mom...I won't!

Fri. appointment

Today's appointment went well. Eliza slept through the first part of my non-stress (very stressful test)! Her heart was beating so I knew she was alive but her heartbeat was very non-reactive and I kept waiting on her kicks. I began to stress and decided in my mind that they'd be sending me straight to the hospital. I knew the strip didn't look quite as it should. The nurse got me some juice and about 10 minutes later she finally woke up and began to do some kicks. About 45 minutes later, they said it looked good...and I didn't need an ultrasound today so that was good. My stomach showed some growth from last week...still about 2 weeks smaller than it should measure...but at least it appears that she may have grown! If not, I surely did...I'll spare you on my weeks weight gain..but let's just say I did my part! So 10 days or less and (wiser) as her sister has been calling her, will finally be here!

23 Months

Ella is now 23 months. I cannot believe she is almost two. We had planned on having her a family birthday party this weekend! I had worked really hard on the details and sent out invitations for a fun "Mickey and Minnie" 2nd Birthday...but it is now been put on hold. Looks like ella's little sis will get to join us for her 2nd b-day party after all. I was hoping to do it before so that we wouldn't have a house full of company with a new baby (I'm a little bit of a germ-a-phobe with a new baby)! Oh well!

We are crazy about our ella. She has brought so much joy to our hearts and lives in these past 23 months. She is a sweet little firecracker who makes each day more enjoyable.
At 23 months ella:
-is still a super picky eater! She only weights 25 pounds. We had made it to 27 but she lost a few when she was sick a few weeks ago and we are still working to gain them back. She likes sweets, pasta, chicken nuggets, pizza, oranges, apples, yogurt, and a few other things. I continue to "try" to get her to eat new things but so far we are still picky!
-still loves to nap. She is still napping from 10-11 or so and them from 3-5. She goes to bed at 8 and sleeps until 6am. She is our alarm clock. She lays in bed with me until we get up for the day. She sleeps good because she goes strong when she is awake!!
-she is totally into shoes and clothes. I am sure it is my fault! She loves for me to fix and straighten her hair and asks me to everyday when I fix mine. Seriously what 2 year old even knows what a straightener is for? Oh well, she has my crazy waves and will need it one day! She now likes her toes painted too.
-She loves playing with her cousins and thinks she is just as big as they are. They have taught her how to play hide-n-seek. The other day we were at my parents house and I kept hearing her saying, "papa, come mere!" After a while I went to see what she was doing and I found her hiding behind mimi's dresses is her closet. I guess she forgot to tell papa that he was supposed to come looking for her.
-she can count to about 13 or 14 and sometimes higher. I am beginning to think she is colored blind...and I am not kidding. The only colors she can distinguish are brown, gray and black. It is very weird. She knows the names of the other colors but cannot distinguish them. It is too funny!
-she is not so sure about eliza. At times she will kiss my tummy and other times try to hit it. She refuses to acknowledge that the car seat in our car now is for eliza and continues to tell is that it is for Titus (her cousin). We continue to tell her that eliza will ride in it very soon.

These are some of my favorite things that she says:
come mere- come here
how are you
I's fine
bye-bye, see you later
love you
mommy I hold you -meaning mommy you hold me
ella do it
I got it
mines
my share -meaning you share with me
ella's turn
dank you
wunch-lunch
ahkay-okay
hair straight
mommy's bed
ella's place (guess where that is)
watch t.d. (t.v)
she calls our neighborhood pool the beach!
go home, rest
play doys house -play at joy's house
and the funniest was when she patted my dad and said " aw, sweet ole papa"

-last but not least...when have been practicing for a long time now talking about Jesus making the world, us, healing us, etc. I asked her the other day who painted her toes and she told me DE-jus (Jesus). Well, not quite...it was her mimi. At least she has learned that Jesus is a good answer for most any question!

Bed Rest Day 6

Today has been a long day. Can I just tell you how much I'd love a trip to Target or even Wal-mart right now! I even despise going to Wal-mart normally but the thought sounds pretty exciting right now. I have no idea how women last on bed rest for months on end. I know you have to keep the goal in sight of having a healthy baby, but I cannot imagine. I am counting down it's only about 12 more days until my scheduled induction and maybe not even that long.

I keep wondering "why" eliza is growth restricted. I know my doc. said that my placenta isn't functioning as good as it needs too...but "why?" I am the girl who is seriously careful throughout my pregnancies! I will admit to having one caffeinated drink a day (this pregnancy) from around week 26 or so...which is totally ok! I am the girl who has taken a prenatal vitamin (the really expensive kind) everyday since March of 2005. I am scared to not take them....I guess I subconsciously feel like I better or else! Samuel's condition was like a 1 in 10,000 chance and growth restriction occurs in only 2-3% of all pregnancies. I always feel like we are good at getting in that narrow percentage!

I am praying, eating lots of extra calories, and doing lots of resting! I am so hoping that eliza will have fattened up a little this week. I am doing all I can!

I better run, Ella is jumping in her bed and counting! I am so proud of her counting skills...colors are still another subject! I just remembered that I forgot that she was 23 months yesterday. Can't believe she is almost two! I'll leave you with a few beach pics from last week!

Bed Rest Day 5

Today I got to get out and go to the doctor...so exciting! I had pretty much worked myself into a panic before going over eliza's movement. I had a NST first and it looked okay but maybe not as reactive as it should be and so I then had a biophysical profile ultrasound where they check for fluid levels, diff. blood pressure ratios, movements, breathing, swallowing. It was reassuring to us and to the doctor. My levels looked a little better than on Friday and she didn't feel the need to induce me today. We did learn from our ultrasound that miss eliza has some hair on the top of her head...didn't look like tons but some. I will continue on bed rest and go back and do it all again on Friday. I have an induction date set for Sept. 22 which is still 13 days away but she said we'll see if we make it there.

As we were leaving our sweet doctor made the comment that we must be trying to run the gamit (spelling) on Ob problems. We both agreed. Feeling more optimistic and better today...it is amazing what a ride in the car will do! Thanks for your prayers!

Bed Rest Day 4

Today has been another slow day. I am so thankful that Kevin has today and tom. off, he is such a big help! I just wish we were able to spend a fun family day tog. I am feeling anxious. I am preparing myself mentally for the reality that eliza could be very small, may not breathe well on her own and may have to stay longer in the hospital. Can I just tell you how much I do not want to leave the hospital without my baby in my arms. That is the worst experience and I just feel like a cloud of doom is hanging over my head today. I just want another healthy baby. Why is that so hard for me to get! I don't feel like I was prepared for things not going just right this time. Maybe it is because I had a wonderful pregnancy with ella and a super fast and easy delivery! I just wanted that again...I don't want things to get complicated!

Bedrest Day3

There may have been points in my life where the thought of bed rest seemed like a lovely option. I can now assure you it is not...esp. for someone like me. I am as some of my family have recently noted a "control freak" and very "type A!" I agree with them and wish I weren't so much this way but it is the way the Lord made me. I like my ducks in order, my house in place, my child on her usual schedule, and you know...but it's times like these when you just have to let it all go.

Kev is doing such a super job being mr. mom. Poor guy he was so tired last night he left his shoes at my parents house and came home bare footed! To his defense he had run errands, chased ella at a birthday party, cleaned, fixed all my meals, and etc. I just hope he doesn't get burned out too soon.

The worst part of this is doing kick counts. I have to count 10 kicks many times a day...and I stress over if she is still ok. I keep wondering why her growth has slowed...was it all my crazy nesting and not enough resting, was the 34 (yes I said it) lbs I have gained so far not enough! I have gained more with her than my other 2 pregnancy's. I haven't allowed myself to google or research the possibilities. I am trying to count her kicks and trust the Lord that we will continue to grow. I do know I probably just make small babies...ella was only 6lbs 7oz. at 39 weeks...so hopefully eliza can grow so more and catch up some.

I seriously feel like I have spent the last 2 years trying to plump ella up and here we go again! Maybe eliza will come out starving and be a super eater! I hope!

Thanks so much for all of your prayers and offers of help. We may be taking you up on it as the weeks progresses. I just don't know what this week will hold for us! I have never been so ready to get back to the doctor before...the outing sounds so exciting and I am praying for some encouraging news. Now to eat some more ice cream....:)