Remember

Last week we took a much needed vacation.  I don't think Kev or I had ever been more excited to get away!  Before we left I checked the forecast and it looked like lots of rain.  We didn't even care...we just needed a change, some time away from appointments and some relaxation (or as much is possible with 3 small kids).  We had a great week and enjoyed our time together as a family.  Unfortunately, Eliza took a fall on Thursday and broke both bones in her left arm.  Our week without appointments ended with a 6 hour ER visit.  She is doing well and will get a pretty pink cast on Wed. once the swelling is gone (she just has a soft cast and splint until then).   She has been a trooper. Mommy on the other hand still feels quite shaken and fearful.

There is lots that I want to update my blog on.  Ella turned 4, Eli is now 3 months, our vacation, but today I want to remember.

October 15 is the National Pregnancy and Infant Loss remembrance day.  In the midst of this crazy roller coaster of a year, there are days when my mind drifts to the past....days of sorrow and grief, days waiting, days of loss.  There are days when I wonder what it would be like to have a 5 year old, 4 year old, 2 year old and newborn.  Days when I wonder what he would look like as a big boy.  I wonder what his personality would be like.  I wonder how he would have changed our family.

Remembering how God used our loss to draw us closer to himself, knowing how he orchestrated events as only He could, and how he brought healing and joy back into our hearts, causes me to trust Him easier today.  On days like today when the cares of the world seem to overwhelm, I need to remember God's faithfulness to me in the past.  I need to remember that he restores, He has a plan, He knows the desires of my heart.
Today I remember my Samuel.