Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Christmas at our House
e's loot
The Rose Petal Cottage that we found 60% off
the day before Christmas!
E in her room on Christmas morning..and
no she doesn't sleep in a bow! :)
Mommy and e on Christmas Eve
before church!
Daddy and e before church!
Christmas at Our House Cont.
Christmas at our House
Pray for baby Stellan
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Glad viruses are only 24 hours!
Whew! yesterday was one of those days you would rather just mark off the calendar. I woke up in the night on Fri. feeling very nauseous...I kept telling my self to go back to sleep...hopefully I was dreaming. Well. I woke up on sat. morning to realize it hadn't been a dream and in fact I had caught a dreaded stomach bug! I hate...I mean I detest...with everything in me... a stomach virus. I literally did not get out of bed all day except to...well you know and to try to take a shower in which i almost passed out. I am so thankful to have woken up today feeling 100% back to normal. (Now my dad and sis have it...sorry!) Aren't you glad these things aren't short...I mean literally I think if it had been any longer I'd just told kev to shoot me and put me out of my misery! Thankfully most trials in life are somewhat similar...they come...and they hit hard but thankfully with the Lord's strength we recover and regain our strength.
We had a great morning at church. Since I was feeling so so much better I was ready to get out of the house. Our Sunday school lesson was on 1 Samuel:1 which is one of my favorite passages in the Bible. I remember ready it...probably really reading it for myself..the summer of 2000 when I worked at a summer camp. I still have my thoughts that I jotted in my bible. This was pre-marriage/pre-kids but even then I was amazed at what Hannah did. I found it hard to believe that a mother who wanted a child so much....that her crying and anguish was thought to have been drunkenness would be willing to totally and completely consecrate her child back to God. I'm sure you all realize that this is one of the reasons we named our Samuel.....Samuel. I had no choice in giving him back to the Lord....but Hannah did. What faith and commitment to the Lord. If it would have been me I'd tried to forget that I'd promised to give the child back to the Lord or probably tried to delay the weaning until he was like....grown. But she was faithful and I wonder if in heaven every time a woman who is struggling through the loss of a child or through infertility reads her story she realizes the impact that her faithfulness God has had!
In closing...I love children's books! I love how simple they are...how they make you think! I read this one the other day and loved it. I'd thought you'd enjoy it too. I can't wait to read it to e as she grows. I can just hear the conversations we will one day have about heaven...when she is old enough to realize that she has a big brother who is already there. I hope you like it! The cover is at the top... as I can't figure out how to get it here!
God Gave Us Heaven
A children's book written by Lisa Tawn Bergren
"Papa, what's heav'n?""Why, heaven is God's home... the most amazing place we'll ever get to see.""More amazing than Glacier Bay?" Little Cub asked. "Glacier Bay is the best place ever.""Yes, Little Cub. Even better than Glacier Bay. God has great plans for you, Little Cub.""For me?""For you. Both here, and later, when we get to heaven. God loves us and never wants to be far from us. He's made a way for us to be with him forever, in heaven.""When do we get to see heaven, Papa?""When our life here is over.""When we die?""Yes, Little Cub, when we die.""Will I be old like Grandma when I go to heaven?""I hope so, Little Cub. I hope you get to live a long and full life before you see heaven. But some of us get to see it sooner than others.""They do? How come?""They get sick or something bad happens. But the good news is that no matter what bad things happen here, nothing bad happens in heaven!""Nothing bad at all?""No more tears, no more sadness, no more pain. Only good. Only smiles!"Little Cub thought on that for a while. "Will we eat in heaven?""Will be eat? Will we eat! We'll have more food than we need! It'll be the best of all polar bear feasts!""Every day?""Every single day.""What else will we do in heaven?""Worship God and explore the best place we've ever seen.""Will we get bored of that?""I doubt it. Heaven will be a million times better than even this!""Can we take our stuff to heaven?""No, we won't need our stuff there, Little Cub." He paused and lifted her backpack from her shoulders. "Feel how heavy that is? Doesn't it feel good to have it off of you?"Little Cub nodded."Sometimes we think we need stuff, but it's just more weight for us to carry. Our best stuff doesn't weigh anything at all- stuff like love, family, friends, and faith. That's where our real blessings are.""What will God look like, Papa?""Hmm... you know what Mama looks like? How she looks like love to us? God will be like that...""Cept a hundred times better!""Exactly!""Will we be angels?""No. Only angels are angels. God made us polar bears for a reason.""Shoot. I want to fly."Papa laughed. "Me too. But you never know what we'll get to do in heaven. I bet we'll think it's even better than flying.""Will I get to see you in heaven?""I think so, Little Cub. I think we'll see all our loved ones there. It will be like the best family reunion ever.""How do we get there, Papa? To heaven, I mean.""Hmm... Let's say this side of the canyon is life here, on earth. And that side over there- where we find the path home- is heaven. God knew that our bad choices might keep us from him forever. Might even wash us away! He didn't want that. He loves us too much. So he sent his very own Son, Jesus, to be our bridge. All we have to do is walk across it to head toward our forever home."Little Cub thought on that. "I like Jesus," she said."So do I, Little Cub. So do I.""Will I have a room in heaven?""Oh yes, there will be many rooms in heaven.""Will it be as cozy as mine?""The coziest ever, Little Cub.""Will I sleep in heaven?" she said with a yawn.It had been a very big day. Papa yawned too and they giggled together."Heaven will be full of all the things we love most," Papa said. "And right now, sleep sounds heavenly to me."Little Cub went to sleep and dreamed of seeing God and his angels, of singing and smiling all day long. Of her best friends and her whole family being with her forever. Of playing, of laughing, of everything good. And she was glad, so glad, that God had given them all heaven.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Merry Christmas
Christmas is such a wonderful time of the year and yet for many it can be a difficult time as well. As loved ones adjust to spending this special time of year without the ones they love. It is never far from my mind on Christmas day...what is going on in heaven! I wonder what my little almost 3 year old little boy is doing today! Oh I wish I could see! I know my mind cannot comprehend the grandeur of a Christmas in Heaven. I mean it has to way top even the best and most beautiful sights this world can think up! I also know it is way better than anything Kev or I could buy or put together. I found this poem the first Christmas after we lost Samuel and I've liked it since. Maybe it will be comforting for those who are dreaming of a Heavenly Christmas as I am today!
My First Christmas In Heaven
I see the countless Christmas trees around the world below
With tiny lights, like Heaven's stars, reflecting on the snow
The sight is so spectacular, please wipe away the tear
For I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I hear the many Christmas songs that people hold so dear
But the sounds of music can't compare with the Christmas choir up here.
I have no words to tell you, the joy their voices bring,
For it is beyond description, to hear the angels sing.
I know how much you miss me, I see the pain inside your heart
But I am not so far away, We really aren't apart.
So be happy for me, dear ones, You know I hold you dear.
And be glad I'm spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
I sent you each a special gift, from my heavenly home above.
I sent you each a memory of my undying love.
After all, love is a gift more precious than pure gold.
It was always most important in the stories Jesus told.
Please love and keep each other, as my Father said to do.
For I can't count the blessing or love he has for each of you.
So have a Merry Christmas and wipe away that tear
Remember, I am spending Christmas with Jesus Christ this year.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Whew!
So I got home and my cell phone rang and it was my ob. She said that the pathologist had called her this morning and something odd showed up in the pathology report. She said I needed to be checked asap and that most likely it was just a contamination in the report but that it could indicate a serious problem for me. Oh great! So off i flew to the doc. My dad babysat e and my mom went with me. I think my nerves and my mom's are about shot but luckily we were able to make ourselves laugh while we waited. Evidently the report could have signified that some of my bowels were sucked into my uterus during the procedure and if that were the case I would be well as she said...close to death at this point. I had told her on the phone that I had been feeling okay and did not feel near death but I think she just had to see me to believe it herself. So more lab work and an ultrasound and good news...looks like I am not dying after all. I tell you if it is rare... I mean like never happens to anyone else... chances are it'll happen to me. My Doc. just called back and said my labs look normal. Praise the Lord for another good report!
So maybe life can calm down just a little for me to wrap my head around the fact that tom. is Christmas Eve. I mean I don't want to be so flustered, busy and consumed with my own concerns that I miss it...
You know a year can make a big difference in one's life. I remember Dec. of 2006. We'd spent the entire year after losing Samuel trying to get pregnant. We even had our second IUI done at 10am on Christmas eve..not because that was our timing but because it was my body's timing. I was worn out yet hopeful. We didn't get pregnant that cycle either but you know what it was just around the corner. If only on December 24th 2006 I could have seen myself on December 24th 2007! I would have seen that God's timing was perfect...that I had the baby girl that I'd always prayed for...I would have seen the blessing! I keep reminding myself of that as I know that this Christmas may not look exactly like I had planned...I'd planned to be 12 weeks pregnant and glowing..but God knows what He has going on. I only wonder what we will be on December 24th, 2009! Don't loose faith.